Through the Eyes of One Woman

Getting all P and Z up in here.....

2012-01-30T17:35:00.002-06:00

I am now proudly serving on the Planning and Zoning committee in our community and had my first meeting last week. It was definitely not what I had imagined and I am pretty sure I'm the youngest on the committee, but then if you look at the average age in this community, it is mostly an older community, but I think the city is wanting to attract younger families.

I was anxious about my first meeting since I have no background in this area, but once I met everyone, I felt better about it. The committee is completely made up of citizens with various backgrounds and I think it will be interesting serving on it...a new adventure. So, I've read all the Planning and Zoning codes (not an expert yet) and I've got my game face on and ready to get all P'ed and Z'ed up...hopefully while making a more sustainable community.

"I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones."
John Cage

Pinterest Junkie.....

2012-01-25T22:12:00.002-06:00

Where did you get that lovely idea....Pinterest of course! Hi, I'm a Pinterest Junkie, don't judge me. Pinterest where have you been all my life, with the plethora of ideas and other crap that I seem to pin on my boards. Seriously, if you have checked it out, it is great, (shout out to MW for hooking me up).
Be warned, it doesn't look like all that powerful until you've been sucked into the mass of "dessert, motivational-quote, food and drinks, DIY crafter, with the splash of fitness" filled pictures hook you and you're like, "Holy Sh!t, I've just spend 2 hours looking at endless pages of things I wish I did or someday hope to do." (Thank goodness my children are in bed asleep and didn't need actual attention)
So, there you have it....I'm a Pinterest Junkie.....who's with me!!!!!!

Why Does It Matter........

2012-01-18T22:39:00.003-06:00

Okay, I try to steer clear of "touchy" subjects, but I've seen this video a few times via Facebook and I got all teary-eyed watching it.

Why should I care? I honestly don't understand why after centuries of knowledge humans have acquired we are still treating people this way, letting them believe they are less than and it is appalling.
When will we learn, when will we truly be able to accept someone simply for who they are? And like most nights, I watched it, shared it, and went to bed.
Yet, as I was laying there, I couldn't shake the video and was reminded of my family members who are gay, and their struggles with "coming out." And then I thought of how my grandfather was treated as a child because of his skin and being told not to speak Te Reo Maori and how those influences transpired to his own children and their feelings, how they were treated.

One of my "aha" moments comes from when I was a child, visiting my great nanny and earlier we went shopping for dolls and I picked the brown doll because it reminded me of my great nanny and I thought the doll was beautiful, when I showed the doll to her and said it reminded me of her. She hugged me and said, "you don't want this doll with dark skin, your skin is lovely and don't let the sun darken you...always wear a sunhat." I didn't understand what she meant, but I realized that there was something different between the white doll and the brown doll, it was only until later that I realized she herself was brought up to be ashamed of her skin.

Discrimination is discrimination no matter how politicians, society, government, or religious groups try to sugar coat it....and to say it is not is baffling. I simply don't get it, I don't understand how anyone can see that it is not or how they justify it. And what is even more frustrating is that these people are most likely passing their views on to their children. I have friends of all nationalities, backgrounds, and religious affiliations, I don't pass judgement on their views, but I don't understand how some can use the argument that God didn't intend for gay people, only straight people (I mean really, you know this because you were there at creation, just like dinosaurs didn't exist either) and it's because the Bible told me so, well the Bible was transcribe by man to control the masses, and history shows that there are many versions, so who is to say what was really intended....
I get angry when I see signs like "God hates Fags" that mostly come from the Westboro Church people....I mean I'm not the most religious person, but I definitely believe in a higher spirit and I was told to "do unto others as you would have done to you." So, I find all of this hate mongering unbelievable, I mean seriously, do you want to be treated that way....I'm guessing not, so get a clue and take a lesson on karma.

And the biggest of all reasons I support gay rights, is simply for my children - I am no fortune teller, so I can't exactly predict my children's future partner, but I want them to see and hear from me that it is not okay to discriminate or treat people unfairly. And they will only learn this by seeing and watching their surroundings.
No person should be made to feel inferior, it makes my heart break when I hear on the news of some young teenager who took his/her life because they were "gay," I instantly think...what if that were my child and I think, did that child have the support of his/her parents, would it have made a difference? So, yes I'm trying to raise my little ones with love and respect, so years from now if God intends that either of my children were to "come out" they know it wouldn't affect how I love them or treat them. I think of the many people who struggle with the decision to "come out" or not and I honestly can't imagine how he/she must feel, especially when the world basically says, "It's not okay."

It is okay and I say that with as much conviction as those who say, "no, it's wrong," they are the ones who don't see life's bigger picture. It is not about how much you love God, pass judgements on others, and condemn everyone else who doesn't believe or follow your rules, because the beauty of God is that he gave us free will - so at the end of the day, it is our decisions that we have to justify, not using "God" as a tool to base their decisions. We are all human that deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and the dignity that we all deserve. Ask yourself, "Are my hands clean" the next time you judge someone.

"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one." - John Lennon

Yummy Soups....

2012-01-07T19:22:00.003-06:00

I recently made two different soups, both of which were super easy to make and most importantly delicious! I'll share the recipes here, I didn't take any photos, but these were good and have now made it into my collection of recipes.

Italian Gnocchi Soup

1 lb Italian Sausage (I used ground graziano italian sausage)
2 cup water
1 16 oz gnocchi
1 14 oz beef broth
1 can of cannellini beans
1 14 oz italian style stewed tomatoes
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

In a large pot, brown italian sausage (I like to add some white wine when cooking italian sausage and I also used a variety of spices, such as oregano, basil, garlic, rosemary). Once sausage is done, add 2 cup water, broth, gnocchi, tomatoes, cannellini, and bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat till gnocchi floats - pour into bowls and sprinkle cheese on top. Serve immediately. I typically serve this with focaccia bread, you'll be surprised at how great this soup is.

African Chicken Peanut Stew

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large skinless, boneless chicken breast halves*
*(I cooked a whole chicken the night before and used the shredded chicken from the chicken for the soup, which I also used the chicken stock from boiling the chicken instead of browning it in a skillet)

1 onion, chopped
2 red bell peppers, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-size pieces
3 cups sliced carrots
4 cups chicken broth, or more as needed
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup brown rice
1 cup crunchy peanut butter

Either brown the chicken in a skillet or you can do what I did, which was cook a whole chicken the night before and used the shredded chicken from the chicken for the soup, transfer the chicken into the slow cooker. Add the onions, peppers, and garlic.
Stir the crushed tomatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, chicken broth (I saved the chicken stock from the night before), curry powder, cumin, chili powder, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, cinnamon, and black pepper into the slow cooker.

Set the cooker to High, and cook for 5 to 6 hours, or cook on Low for 10 hours. Stir in additional chicken broth throughout the cooking time if needed.
Mix in the brown rice 3 hours before serving, and mix in the peanut butter at least 1 hour before serving. Shred chicken meat (if you haven't shredded it) and serve hot. I also like to make some additional rice that I don't put in the crockpot to serve with.
The aroma of this dish is wonderful and all the medley of spices and peanut putter go together well.

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." ~Voltaire

Final Days of 2011 Winding Down....

2011-12-30T22:20:00.002-06:00

Well it has been one hell of a year, I'm sad to say good-bye, but always looking forward to new beginnings, which 2012 brings and I know that it will only get better.
Of course the end of the year it is always a good time to reflect and I have to say overall 2011 was a GREAT year in all aspects of my life. I've been trying to refocus my energy with a more positive attitude and started visualizing what I wanted in life, so when I looked back at my post from last year, I was quite surprised.

Here is the link to last year's post, if you are so inclined to read it. After reading it, it really didn't dawn on me all the progress I made on a emotional level. Of course, there are still days that are harder than others, but I don't let it get to me like before. I create my happiness and how I react to situations, no one else is responsible for that and that realization has greatly changed my life.

I have big plans for 2012 and have no doubt that I will reach those goals, it may not happen in one year, but it will happen. There is the saying, that everyday is an opportunity and as simple as that saying is, the reality is huge once you realize that all that is holding you back is yourself.

I refuse to carry any one's baggage and as far as mending any relationships with certain people in my life, I've opened the doors, but I can't force anyone to walk in. I can't change anyone or their views, I can only change how I interact with them.

So, here is to 2012....I look forward to new beginnings and a few challenges tossed in, just to keep things interesting of course. May your new year be blessed!

"Today is going to be most difficult and challenging. Today I will face my fears and stand up for what I believe is right. Today my noble and selfless acts will be accused of cruel and greedy intentions. No matter what the outcome, I will be stronger, my family will be closer, and I will finally have the closure that I have been seeking for so many years." - Unknown

On the Eve of the Eve.....

2011-12-23T23:33:00.002-06:00

I've been sending thoughts and prayers to family in Christchurch, they were hit with four earthquakes yesterday, most of the repairs that the city and residents have been making since the February one are now gone. My heart breaks for the city and I wonder what the future holds for this beloved city. Kia Kaha Christchurch!

So, on the eve of the eve, shopping is complete, presents are wrapped and tucked under the tree, oh what a relief. And I have to admit that I've never felt more at ease than presently, I've not let a thing bother me. I typically get all anxious and worked-up during the holidays, but I'm actually enjoying everything around me, it is a nice change. Part of me thinks it is because the weather has been so mild lately and typically I get a nice helping of seasonal depression, but the weather has been great.

I've also realized that I am only responsible for my feelings, no one else is and I can choose to hold on to hurts and grudges or let it go. And granted I'm still working on all of this, but I realize that life is too short and I need to focus on the people that are around us versus those who choose not to be a part of our lives while at the same time not being a doormat. I'm not going to apologize for the sake of apologizing. Negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive, therefore I am living in the positive.

On another note I am however, beginning to lose my voice, some days are worse than others, but I'm hoping it won't last long. Although, I'm sure my kids would probably enjoy me not talking or telling them to pick up, pick up, tidy your room. Though I was getting some weird looks as the store clerk was ringing up my groceries, made me conscience enough to say, "I'm losing my voice" as I wanted to say, go suck it pixie head.

I've also been trying to swear less in front of the kiddies, I have a horrible potty mouth sometimes and lately the kids will point it out when I say a bad word, so I've been trying my best.
I didn't tell them I was thinking of substitute words and we were heading to school and the parking lot of the school drives me up the wall, so I blurted out you silly turtle ducker and the kids looked at each other and then roared with laughter. I decided these substitutes were much better.

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” - Dr. Seuss

Little Hands....

2011-12-23T22:59:00.005-06:00

So the kids have made all their crafts for the holidays and presents they are giving out. We've made gingerbread ornaments and a "little hand" craft, which I recently saw on Pinterest and also on a friends Facebook page.

We added some different elements, but overall I'm happy with how they came out and the kids had fund tracing each others hand and cutting it out.

"Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you." - Daniel Raeburn

Christmas Countdown

2011-12-20T21:56:00.003-06:00

Yes, it is upon us...Christmas time...the kids have their last day of school before winter break tomorrow. Tonight, we took part in my little man's first piano recital. He started lessons in October and he played "O Christmas Tree," he did good for his first performance.
It was funny because prior to going, he asked if he could get a "sports coat" like daddy. So, we looked for a jacket and thankfully found one that was even on clearance. His eyes lit up and he had the biggest grin on his face!
His recital was short and it was great to see all the kids at varying degrees of piano talent and I was so proud to see him up there doing his best.

We also won the holiday "lighting" contest in our neighborhood, which was an unexpected, but nice surprise.
I'm looking forward to Christmas, this year I tried to focus on something the kids are interested in and get things that help foster that interest, so I think I am just as excited for Christmas as the kids are. In the past, the holiday times tend to come with some drama, but I'm happy to report that this year we have had none.
I've had many breakthroughs this year and taking control of my emotions and what bothers me or what doesn't helps. Deciding what I want and focusing on what I'm grateful for has definitely moved things in a more positive direction. I've stopped focusing on what is lacking and instead creating what I want and I'm refusing to let negative thoughts and energy come into my life.

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

A house full of cookies....

2011-12-13T21:29:00.004-06:00

So, we are in the midst of December and of course baking has taken over in our house. Over the weekend, I hosted a Ugly Sweater Cookie Swap, which I think was fun. We had a ton of cookies and I asked the guests to bring at least 5 dozen cookies and then they got to take home several dozen cookies from the various cookies that were available. It was a good time.

This weekend we are also making swirl-a-ball ornaments to give away. You take clear ornament balls, get some tempera paint mix with some water and then use eye droppers to put into the ornament and swirl the paint inside the ornaments, which makes neat swirly designs.

On on completely different topic, I'm watching "Waiting on Superman," and it is hard to watch without really getting upset to think where we are with the education of our children. We are quickly slipping behind and we are allowing it to happen. Every child deserves the best education and we tell our children to believe and that they can accomplish anything as long as they get an education, but then we can't even give them an education that they deserve. What is it going to take to really change the system, because it is clear that our focus isn't on the children, the system is broken.

I'm thankful that my children are where they are.....and I fully am aware of that. Education should not be to recall a list of facts, words or any other useless information, it should be stimulating and engaging so that it moves to our long-term memory rather than short term.

Crafts and Things.......

2011-11-18T20:47:00.003-06:00

I attempted to make a yarn wreath several days ago. It was pretty painless, not entirely time-consuming, somewhat relaxing, and easy. I selected some multicolored yarn from the local craft store along with a wreath and got busy. Not bad for my first attempt - I decided to hang it in front of one our windows in the living room.

This weekend, the kids and I are going to attempt to make yarn balls and from what I've read is pretty messy, which is why I thought the kids would enjoy it. I'm pretty excited to give it a stab. We shall see how it all turns out!

The kids also received their annual letter from Father Christmas and keeping track of how well the kids have been behaving. I told the kids a while back that the cameras you see in stores, etc....are called "Santa Cams" and that is how Santa keeps track of every one's behavior throughout the year, when my kids begin to act out, I simply point to one of the cameras, this has been working well and works year round, however, I'm not sure what is going to happen when my children are older, but I suppose by then my kids should know better than to bicker in public.

And speaking of Christmas, last night we were talking about what is on their lists and my little man, looks at me all serious-faced and says, "do you really think Santa will bring me 30 packets of honey" and I said we shall see as I thought, honey, really? (My son has actually requested manuka honey from New Zealand, which may be hard for Santa to acquire)

The kids had their school auction last weekend, we walked away with some tickets to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, a card basket, movie ticket with candy basket, books, and are splitting a lake cabin with some friends for a week.
We made and donated a rain barrel and two wine "tiki" torches with the citronella. The school sent out final numbers of what was raised, but it was just recently updated with proceeds from the bake sale and remaining items that needed to be paid and the money raised was $15, 387 - I think that is pretty impressive for a school our size. Most of the money will be used to help fund another classroom for next year as well as supplies for teachers. It is always a fun time, I helped checking people in this year, but I think I will help with set-up next time.

I'm also reading a book titled, Montessori Madness by Trevor Eissler, I've just started reading it, but so far I enjoy it. I continue to write letters to the Governor's office, but I definitely think we need more public Montessori schools not only in this state, but in the United States or at least there needs to be more choices for parents than what is currently offered. I'm currently on the part about what is going wrong in schools today and it reminds me of the other book I read and have mentioned, The Art of Learning and Forgetting by Frank Smith. Both great reads for parents!

I've also started a new writing project....I won't go into many details as I'm still sketching ideas about, but it is a great start so far.

“Books fall open, you fall in. When you climb out again, you're a bit larger than you used to be." Gregory Maguire

Reflecting on my dad.....

2011-11-10T09:15:00.003-06:00

With Veteran's day tomorrow, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on my dad and the commitment he made to his country. He served 26 years in the U.S. Navy, something I really didn't appreciate or fully understand till I got older.
Growing up I only looked at it as a job that took my father away for long periods of time, I resented the various moves, I resented that he missed out on holidays or birthdays or father-daughter dances.
When we moved to a state that didn't take him out to sea every six months, it was definitely an adjustment period, who was this man that was now home and why was he trying to tell us what to do, that was mom's job and even then I still didn't realize the commitment one makes when joining the service....it didn't really dawn on me, till my father retired from the Navy and going through his retirement ceremony and I cried only then realizing that perhaps there were times that he didn't want to leave us, but it was his job and regardless of how he felt, he had to go.

As an adult and parent, I realize how lucky I was to have had the opportunities that we had - how happy I felt when we would go to the base and eagerly watch the ships coming into port while the servicemen were all lined up on the ship and I would try to find my dad among all the servicemen. Or when my dad would take me to his office and let me type on his typewriter, or play the one game they had on the computer and the nights we would get to come on the ship and get to eat with him; I can still remember the smell of the ship: metal and diesel fuel, sometimes tar-like. Or the great friendships you would make with the other military families.
Or all the places we got to live and experience - although growing up I absolutely hated moving and the process of having to meet new people, new schools and the one year I changed three schools in a matter of six months and I remember my dad walking me into one of the schools, trying to ease my nerves and hugged me and said it will be okay and all I wanted to do was cry and say, don't leave me here, but I didn't because you adjust...you meet some great people that turn into friends. Looking back it definitely helped shape me into the person I am and I wouldn't be the person I am had it not been for all those experiences. It's not an easy life for anyone involved, but it's life just the same and I want to just say thanks, Dad. Thanks for your service to this country and for giving me the opportunity to be a military brat - I'm proud to be your daughter!
And thanks to all the servicemen past and present....not all appreciate or fully understand the type of commitment it takes, but thank you.

"On the battlefield, the military pledges to leave no soldier behind. As a nation, let it be our pledge that when they return home, we leave no veteran behind" - Dan Lipinski

Family Dynamics.....

2011-11-09T16:29:00.004-06:00

I debated internally with myself, whether or not I wanted to blog about this, but then I thought, crap, I've blogged about so much other stuff in my life, why not. And perhaps it is because I pretend it doesn't bother me when in reality it does. And thus I don't really want to go into it, because I don't want to stir up anything, so I ignore it, but sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone to really see the bigger picture.
So, whatever is it that I'm eluding to....the family dynamics of my siblings. My husband has his own issues with his siblings, so I'm not going to get in those, but is it just us or do most siblings have closer relationships with friends besides their own sibling? In my case, I'm definitely closer to a few of my friends than I am with my siblings and do I like it that way? Yes and No. I guess I always felt like at some point things would change and eventually get to there and in some aspects of my life it has, but it has always reverted back to more of a "this person has a presence in my life" rather than "this person is a part of my life."

My sister and I have had our ups and downs and growing up I have always envied her "carefree" demeanor, I'm definitely not that gal in settings I'm not comfortable with....whereas my sister has the "don't care what you think" attitude, but she has always been the more social butterfly and gets more laughs, which I admire. However, I have always felt like I had to compete for her attention and at times I felt she resented me, which drove a wedge even further between us.
And time after time, after something would happen and the more disappointed or hurt I felt, I continued to let it go for the sake of wanting her in my life. I would wait for an apology, I would wait for some closure, only to be told not to live in the past, but yet if her feelings were hurt - then it is okay to bring up the "wrongs" in her life. And most recently after something happened, I thought really? I definitely wouldn't take this from anyone else, why in the hell should I take it...I'm not a doormat and I refuse to be one. So, my sister is not really in my life and I am not a part of hers, am I comfortable with that? No, not really, I would love to have a relationship with my sister who I could call up and hang out with, but I'm tired of continually giving emotionally to someone who I feel doesn't give back or can take responsibility for their actions. And I know that if I were to pretend nothing has happened, things would be great, until the next issue arises and once again it will be my fault. I can't continue to live like that and I won't.

Relationships take work and it is easy to let relationships fall then to work on them and the thing is if I really felt like my sister wanted me a part of her life, I would make more of an effort, but it has to go both ways. And instead I feel like an outsider looking in to her world and I'm not going to apologize for my life, I feel like - I've done so in the past and I've tried, but I don't get the impression that she cares one way or the other.

I feel for my children because I don't want them to have this type of dysfunctional relationship with their sibling, at times I wonder what example am I setting for them...I can't rely on my brother, I can't rely on my sister, there is no relationship there and then we have no relationship with my husbands siblings. It's like seriously, these are siblings and my children look at our close friends as aunties/uncles more so than the real ones....what kind of picture is that, but again the relationship with those friendship is that we work on being a part of that person's life.
My little man is taking piano and he said to his piano teacher, how a close family friend's daughter (who is also taking piano) was his cousin. The piano teacher asked if we were family and I laughed and said no, but we see each other that enough that the kids feel like family.
I don't expect a perfect family, but to feel like I could count on my sibling would be enough.

"The most powerful ties are the ones to the people who gave us birth it hardly seems to matter how many years have passed, how many betrayals there may have been, how much misery in the family: We remain connected, even against our wills." - A.Brandt

30 Days of Gratitude

2011-11-03T20:50:00.003-05:00

Well we are already into the first week of November, we've been trying to talk about all the things that we are grateful before bedtime. It is always interesting to hear what the kids have to share, such as...my books, my family, my bed, candy, the animals, etc...
I am thinking of making some Thanksgiving and Christmas questions that we can take turns asking/answering during dinner time. The dollar store has some foam craft stuff that I think we can use to decorate and write the questions on - I also have a box that they kids can decorate and I know they will enjoy it.
I've signed the whole family up for the Miracle of the Bell campaign through the Salvation Army, so yes, we will be out there ringing those bells - the kids are pretty excited as they had so much fun last year ringing the bells.
The husband was away this week - I don't mind when he is away, but sometimes it gets old. The kids are always well-behaved, but they miss him terribly - well we all miss him. It feels like he has been traveling more, but I really don't know it that is the case or if I just notice it more, but it is what it is. I just try to enjoy and soak it in when he is home (when he is not wrapped up into all the home projects).
I've also found a new holiday DIY project that I'm excited to try, so I'll post pictures if I start and finish it :)

"Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. " E. Caddy

Yummy Fall Treat

2011-10-28T22:12:00.003-05:00

I saw this recipe in a magazine and thought I'd give it a try. I added my own variation to the recipe and I think they turned out delish, well and also from those who tried them. So here it is:

Caramel Apple Muffins
1. Take your favorite batch of apple muffins and make them as stated (I used the Jiffy Apple Muffin Mix), let them cool.
2. Use an electric mixer to blend 8 ounces softened cream cheese, 3 tablespoons maple syrup and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract until smooth. Add food coloring (I used 3 drops of yellow and 1 drop of red).
3. Frost each muffin and coat or edge with chopped nuts (I used brown sugar and rolled oats mixture) and drizzle caramel over the muffins.

Moving along....

2011-10-27T20:32:00.004-05:00

Well it's been some time since my last post. I have no excuse other than life is moving along, sometimes faster than I actually think I realize. Work is busy, the kids activities are keeping them (and me) busy and we've been rebuilding the shed and chicken coop from the fire and decided to add a little green house as well. Then before I realize it, weeks have past.
My little man has started karate and he tested for his white with yellow stripe belt, seeing how proud he was when they called his name was the best. He is gaining so much mo self-confidence since he's been attending.
I also watched a documentary, titled The Human Experience. It was a great movie, it is definitely one of those movies that makes you stop and think about life in general. I watched it four times in one week and considering buying it. It is one of those movies you think everyone should watch and as I struggle trying to figure out what my place is in this world, I think it helps put things in perspective. One of the most memorable quotes for me was "by giving yourself, you find yourself," which I think is true. We take moments in our life, both good and bad and we find meaning in them whether it is intended or not, but regardless of what you find, it is your experience and I realize that if I don't try to reach for my dreams than what kind of example am I setting for my children. We tell our children from an early age to reach for the stars and dream big, but then as life moves along and those children grow, we tell them to get a job, take responsibility, and grow up....and thus later in life we find ourselves questioning "life" and what it all means, is it all mundane or is there a bigger piece to the puzzle?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in anyway indicating that I'm unhappy with my life, in fact I'm quite happy....what I question is there a greater purpose, what is my impact, what am I contributing to the world.
So, I've spent some time trying to figure out, what am I passionate about, what would I do for free if I didn't have to work, and what brings joy to my life. Writing, education, and my children/family is what I kept coming back to.......I have some ideas as far as writing projects and I always start them, but never finish, we shall see if I can overcome my fear of failure and just do it, if not for myself, but at least to show my children that I can.

"But whatever experience we have, whether it is good or whether it's bad, we can always remember it and learn something from it. And it's those moments....when something touches you, something opens up something that you didn't realize before, you feel a longing, you know, that you never felt before." - Makoto Fujimura

Montessori Madness

2011-10-06T21:47:00.003-05:00

My sweet pea, the first-grader, has been working on this school project for a few weeks.
Every so often I’d get an update from her:…..“Today, we got to make up our own insect…mine is the “buttercock,” half butterfly and half peacock”…….”I wrote a story about my insect”…………”I made my insect out of clay”…….and this went on, what I noticed was the excitement in her tone, what she was learning about the insects, the details she was including and the smile it brought to her face.
And then the day came when she could barely keep still, waiting patiently as my little man talked about his day until she can no longer stand it and says, “I have to tell you this….we are having an author’s café in my class, you get to come, I can dress up and we tell our stories and then serve you drinks and cookies, I’m really excited, can you come?”

So, we marked it down on her calendar and it was like leading up to a birthday….the day finally arrived and she puts on her best dress and says, do you think I’ll be okay in front of everyone? I nod.
My mum accompanies me to the Author’s café and we are greeted by three third-grade girls in the classroom and told to pick a seat. The teacher explains how the projects got started and thus turned into the Author’s café and then the students begin reading their stories about the insect that they created.
I was impressed by the creativity shown by these children, the details that were included and some made you laugh out loud, it was quite impressive and you could tell each child enjoyed the project, there was a spark in their eyes as they talked about their story and sitting there listening to these children made me appreciate my children’s school, appreciate the spirit that they are instilling into my child. It’s what I love about Montessori, they are creating independent, life long learners.

A few parents have created a committee to work on spreading the word of Montessori, there should be more public Montessori schools, we need to expand our school we have a growing population with less teachers and it is going to bubble – the school has over 500 students on the waiting list, which shows parents want more options and we should have more options than traditional public school settings. Our children continually are taught early on that they "CAN'T," when in all reality they CAN.
If you are unfamiliar with Montessori, here is a great video....take a peak

"We cannot create observers by saying 'observe,' but by giving them the power and the means for this observation and these means are procured through education of the senses." - Maria Montessori

Don’t forget the note……

2011-10-06T21:43:00.002-05:00

It’s amazing how it’s the little things that sometimes have the biggest impact.
I was making lunches for my children in the morning and as my little man is getting ready he yells, “Don’t forget my note, you forgot one day, so remember my note, okay mommy?”

And as I listened to him, my heart smiled….we are still working on learning how to read with him, so he knows sight words, but sometimes I wondered if he ever paid attention to the notes in the lunchbox or knew what it said.
And I also realize I’m not the first mom to ever put notes in the lunch box, my mum use to put them in mine and I always looked forward to it, so I made it a practice for myself. Yet, my kids never said a word about them, until I forgot. So, I handed him the lunchbox and he says, “Is it in there?” I shook my head yes and asked, “do you want me to tell you what it says?” “No, no, don’t tell me, let me try my best,” he replied.

We get so caught up in the daily routines that sometimes it’s hard to catch those stop and pause moments and here I reflected on all that makes me happy and it’s never the material things….it’s the smile from a stranger, the tug of my hand as my kids wrap their hands around mine, the soft kiss from my husband as he walks in the door, a compliment from out of the blue, and the good-night laughs and cuddles. I treasure these moments more than I can explain, I suppose some of it reminds me of my own childhood memories, but it's what I look forward to the most throughout my days.

“Some people drift through their entire life. They do it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. It happens so gradually they are unaware of how their lives are slipping away until it's too late.” M.K Ash

Too Close for Comfort.....

2011-09-15T00:00:00.002-05:00

Well what a night, my husband watched a movie while I was working on a Power Point presentation for one of my projects and then after the movie was finished, we went to bed. I do my typical routine, check on the kids, give kisses, etc...look out my son's window as always to see the shimmer of the moon and then went to our room.
It didn't seem long, before we hear this loud bang on our door, my husband goes to the door where a neighbor informs him that our shed in the backyard is on fire. I immediately jump up, run to my son's room, look out the window and stare in complete shock as flames are engulfing our shed where we built the chicken coop, so yes, the chickens.
I call 9-1-1, the dispatcher informs me that our neighbor called it in, he asks if anything flammable is in there, the lawnmower, gasoline tank, so yes.
It didn't take long for the fire trucks and police to arrive, I asked the policeman if I should evacuate my children from the house, as the flames were high, he said we should be okay. I'm sick to my stomach watching it, so I go inside to check on the kids, call my parents in panic and my sweet pea comes hiding from her room, she woke, saw the lights and looked outside her window. She wants to know if the chickens are okay, I tell her I don't know and squeeze her tight.
The fire department does their job, puts the fire out and the chickens are okay, thankfully they ran to the outside of the shed, but me, I'm still in shock. I have a fear of fires and this was too close to my comfort zone. It was our garden shed and thank you higher spirit that it was only our shed, it wasn't our home.
The fire department is still here, my husband is outside and I will get little sleep tonight. I've moved the kids into our bed because their rooms face the backyard and I just feel better with them in my room.
So, it looks like I will be delivering some sort of goodies to the fire department, not sure what yet, but it doesn't seem like "thank you" is enough for their service.

"As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world." ~Terri Guillemets

Yes, Fall is upon us.....

2011-09-05T20:24:00.004-05:00

The kids are adjusting to the routine of going back to school and seem to be enjoying the start of the new school year. I feel a bit guilty that are summer plans lack some major adventures like hitting the Black Hills, but it seemed that the summer swept by us before I even realized it. We made a couple weekend getaways and I told the kids that we will each write up a list of activities for next year and maybe pick one or two and just focus on achieving those, maybe instead of having a huge list of "things to do" and focusing on one or two, we will be more likely to accomplish it.

We went camping over the weekend, it was such a beautiful day yesterday and it was completely last minute, but we were able to squeeze it in. My husband had been at this campsite a few times before, but it was a first for us as a family and wow, what a well-kept secret. There are only six campsites (no electric) and it is tucked away in some rolling hills, there is a trail that leads to what was once the site of a Native American (Woodland Indians) burial ground. It is called, Hickory Hills.

The kids chased monarch butterflies and impressed me with their newly acquired knowledge of butterflies that they have been learning in school. We looked at various plants, such as milkweed and then looked at the stars. It was a great night, no t.v. or phone or computer, movies, just us.

I wish I could say I slept like a baby, but for one I am a light sleeper and second as much as I like being outdoors, I have an overactive imagination, so when you combine that with sleeping in a tent outdoors in the middle of a secluded campsite, your mind plays tricks on you. The owls were hooting, coyotes were howling, and then all the other noises that you typically hear in the woods, my sleep was not restful to say the least. You would think I would learn.....

"I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright." ~Henry David Thoreau

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - R.Tagore

Wordles are fun

2011-08-31T22:57:00.003-05:00

My Wordle for the day......I took a poem I wrote and created a Wordle, where it generates a word cloud from text you provide, just fun!

Can it really be that many......

2011-08-22T21:10:00.004-05:00

Indeed, it has been 9 years since my husband and I said, "I do" and it amazes me how time has passed. I'll try to spare the cliche "my husband is my best friend" speech, but I can't make any promises, so I give fair warning now for those faint of heart in mushiness that this blog may contain some touches of warm fuzziness, please proceed with caution.

I didn't grow up dreaming of my wedding day, nor did I believe in true love or that somewhere out there one man was out there for me, I mean come on, it's a big world and considering I had moved several times to different states, I never knew where I was going to settle and all I can say is Iowa wasn't in my plans. Yet, fate if you believe in such things, had different plans......

It amazes me how one person can significantly change the course of your life. There is a quote that I love by Javan that goes something like,"it is not about finding the right person as it is finding them at the right time" and I find that to be ever so true.

I think had he and I met any earlier or later in our lives, things wouldn't have turned out as they did, neither one of us were prepared for the other, let alone a relationship, but somehow and in some way our paths crossed and we were never the same. I told him early on, I had big plans, I was going to move out of Iowa and he told me the same, that he was planning on leaving once his lease was up and he did leave when his lease was up, but closer to me ;) and I graduated from college and moved....in with him.

I was in awe of him, he made me nervous and I think it is because he did something no other could do, he challenged me to my core and tore down my wall. And I am ever so glad he did.

I look at pictures when we first met and when we got married and then I glance over at my man now and I still get the butterflies in my stomach, my heart flutters with his touch and I love him more than he really knows.

He knows me all to well, accepts all of me, encourages me, occasionally makes me mad as I'm sure I make him mad as well, and can get me laughing so hard it hurts. And what is so amazing about love, is that even though it is what first initially brings people together, through the years it grows into something deeper and changes. For me, I think it is what the changes bring that makes me fall in love with him all over, like seeing him with our kids or seeing him cry for the first time. It is in those moments when someone shares pieces of their soul that captures your heart.

My sweet-pea asked about how did I know that "daddy" was my husband and I said, I just did. She didn't understand, but perhaps one day she will.
For my kids, if and when they are old enough and ready for that commitment my only hope is that they have someone if their life that will: be kind, patient even when you are ready to scream, is able to laugh, be silly with you, is strong, confident, not afraid to show emotions, full of passion and someone who is willing to share their life, and someone who doesn't give up, understanding, and loving, believes in happy endings. I have found that and more.

And I don't know what our future holds, but I know that it isn't just about love as it is about how he makes me be a better person and so our story continues......Happy Anniversary my love!

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." Judy Garland

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." ~Author Unknown

"Whether it was chance or that thing called fate that brought me to you, I really can't say, and I don't believe it really matters. For I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to hold you, not just in my arms, but also in my heart. And should the winds of time blow hard enough to take you from my arms, you can rest assured they will never take you from my heart." - Javan

Giving liberates the soul of the Giver....

2011-08-19T15:32:00.003-05:00

I saw a business posting about an organization that gives loans to individuals across the world and they look for people to lend them these individuals or groups the money by lending as little as $25 or lending the entire amount of the loan. The local business said they have loaned out nine loans, six were paid in full and three are making payments, but I found the idea fascinating. These individuals or groups may not have the means necessary to obtain a traditional loan, but through the help of other individuals can pursue a goal or dream.
So, I made my first loan - it was $25, but hopefully with time, I can increase that amount. And the man was located in Peru, I selected him mainly because he was only $100 away from his goal of $880 and he only had two days left to reach it and within an hour, I got an email indicating he reached his goal with the help of 20 individuals across the world.
Mother Theresa said once, that if you can't feed the world, feed one and I felt like as much as I'd like to help hundreds of people, I can't, but I helped one and it felt good to know he reached his goal.
The organization is called Kiva and I hope you check it out. There are times when we are up and there are the times when we are down, so when I have the opportunity to help, I try. I can't explain the feeling, but I feel like when I give, somehow I'm making a small difference as cliche' as it is.

"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do." Khalil Gibran

Happy Kidney Day

2011-08-18T07:49:00.004-05:00

I woke a little early today, took the dogs out and drank a cup of tea in the backyard. As I was sitting there, I could see the sun rising, it was a bit cloudy, but the sun was bursting through some of the clouds and it was still quite remarkable to watch. I put my feet in the grass still fresh with morning dew and enjoyed the stillness of the moment that with each rising of the sun, brings the promise of a new day, new beginning, a new journey.

And so I said a quiet blessing reflecting that today marks two years since I donated my kidney to my mom and considering how things got started after the surgery, two years is grand! So Happy Kidney day to my mother, I'm blessed to have her here!

We easily get caught up in wishing minutes or hours would pass so we can get through another day, yet infrequently stop to realize what we are wishing away and then when it's gone do we regret what we've lost. We are all guilty of this and sometimes it is hard to break the pattern, but take the time to stop and enjoy what's been presented to you today, even though there is tomorrow, there is no guarantee.

"My mother gave me life and never once asked for anything in return. That is her secret you know, always giving without expectations. She helps me find my way through the years and makes me laugh while doing it - there are some things that only a mother can do"

"Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires." ~Charles Caleb Colton

Bedtime Giggles.....

2011-08-01T20:58:00.004-05:00

We were doing our typical bedtime routine and reading stories, tonight it was Curious George: The Kite and Olivia forms a band.
As we were reading, the second story, Olivia forms a band, we turned the page and all of us started laughing and we couldn't stop. I know the photo spurred the laughter, but then continued laughing and laughing and as I tried to contain my composure to finish the book, we would continue to giggle.

Then my sweet pea said, "was that part of the book about us...."

I laughed even harder when she said that and said, "well maybe" and the reason why is because on the next page the mom states, "Wipe that glop off your face, young lady, and get in the car NOW!"

So, that is what my sweetpea was referring too....me telling her to wipe that crap off her face whenever she puts it on. Well on the brighter side, at least I know now that she is not the only Olivia who does it.

"Only five books tonight, Mommy," she says. No, Olivia, just one." How about four?" Two." Three." Oh, all right, three. But that's it!" — Ian Falconer (Olivia)

Does the happily ever after exist.....

2011-07-28T21:18:00.002-05:00

How often did you grow up hearing stories of fairytales or read them? I loved reading them and getting lost in the stories, sometimes pretending I was Little Red Riding Hood or when I would play outside I would pretend that I could speak with the animals and I would be Snow White, at some time we all want to believe that we are a princess and marry a prince, but as I grew older I realized that those stories like movies were fantasy and I surely wasn't a princess, so alas where did that leave my prince?
My interests and goals changed, I traded my fairytales for Jane Austin, Anne Rice, Toni Morrison, and Maya Angelou, Virginia Wolfe, Walt Whitman, and not to mention the many school books that I studied.
My world got bigger and complicated, of course heartbreaks and the tears that followed; wondering where was my fairy godmother?

And then one day, out of the blue and unexpected I met my man, he wasn't a prince by any means, but he did something no other man could do, he tore down my brick wall that I had built around myself and captured my heart. And I knew from the moment I met him, that I was going to marry that man.....and eventually I did.
Has it been happily ever after, of course not, this isn't a movie, but do I feel like like my fairytale has come true? Indeed...in fact, if you were to look on my checks there is a saying, "fairytales do come true." It may not be with glitz, sparkles, or a rescue from a tower, but I feel like it.
I wasn't looking to get married, I wasn't looking to have a family, I was focused on me and then unexpectedly some random guy comes along and completely changes my life, but do I believe that marriage and kids is the key to a happily ever after? No, what I do think the key to finding your happily ever after is what you define as your fairytale.
If you've been dreaming of Mr. Right, your 2.5 kids and your house with the picket fence all your life and it still hasn't happened, if you are happy who cares, but if you are are not happy because you don't have those things, perhaps you need to change your focus or your idea of what a fairytale is....for me it didn't matter about the pretty princess finding love, my favorite part about a fairytale was trying to discover the lesson in the tale; that good overcomes bad.

And of course, in life we don't always have a happy endings, but I figure if I am 98% of the time happy, then by all means I've reached my happily ever after.
Don't spend your life focusing on all the things you don't have, focus on the things that make you happy and then you'll find your happily ever after.

"If you happen to read fairy tales, you will observe that one idea runs from one end of them to the other--the idea that peace and happiness can only exist on some condition. This idea, which is the core of ethics, is the core of the nursery-tales." - G.K. Chesterton

"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." - Albert Einstein

Favorite Words

2011-07-20T09:12:00.002-05:00

So this morning we are getting ready for our day and my sweet pea has a new affliction for words. So, I casually ask her what her favorite word is.....she thinks and says, "can I have two?" I nod and she says, "diamond" and "family," so I'm thinking those are two very different words and ask her why are those your favorites. And she says, "I like the way "diamond" sounds and the shape and it's a mineral (okay, Ms. Science?!)
So, then of course I have to ask my little man, who is patiently waiting for his sister to finish, so he can say loud and proud, "din-o-saur" and before I can even ask why, he says, "I like it because it's just cool."

And what surprised me the most is that I would never have guessed those words to be their favorite words, had someone ask me this, I would have said something like "princess" and "superhero," so I guess after all their worlds are more than just what they surround themselves with.

Of course, they asked me and so I told them, which is "magnanimous" and before I could tell them why, my little man, says, "why is it because it is a long word?" and I said, no I like the way it sounds and then I gave them the meaning of the word.

Magnanimous - showing a couragous spirit and/or generous in forgiving

What are some of your favorite words?

"In a serious struggle there is no worse cruelty than to be magnanimous at an inopportune time." - Leon Trotsky

"We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out." - Colin Mochrie

"I loved being outside. We'd hold lightning bugs in our fingers and pretend they were diamond rings." - Loretta Lynn

Never have expectations......

2011-07-15T10:33:00.002-05:00

Life lesson, never have expectations and you will never be disappointed with how things turn out. It sounds simple enough right? Hopefully, I can start practicing it. My mistake is I hold people to the same expectations that I hold myself and thus disppointed when things don't go the way I anticipated.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." - Maya Angelou

My Brave Little Sweet Pea

2011-07-01T19:40:00.002-05:00

Today my little sweet pea had her tonsils and adenoids out. She was such a brave girl, we tried to talk about it once we found out that she needed them removed, but she wouldn't. Then last night, she said she was frighten and so we talked about her concerns and she seemed better. She asked if she would have visitors come over and I said I'm sure you will.
This morning, she was simply quite and remained that way the entire time. The surgery didn't take that long, approximately 30 minutes and then onto recovery, where she sat as I rubbed her little feet.
When they came to get her, I started to cry a bit, not that I was afraid, but I definitely would have traded places with her if I could have, I hate seeing my children upset or in pain, but I quickly stopped as I didn't want her to see me get upset. She was sick a couple times prior to us leaving and has been a few more times since we've been home, but overall, she is taking in liquids and resting. We haven't seen any tears, she is just being our brave little girl and I'm so proud of her!
She was excited when I walked in the room holding flowers that my sister had brought for her. She knew exactly who they were from without even reading the card and my sister didn't have to do it, especially considering we had a falling out a couple months ago.
My little man has been a big helper, watching over his sister and when we were eating dinner, she rang her bell and he said, "don't worry I'll get this one." I've got two of the best kids ever!

"Children make you want to start life over." Muhammad Ali

Roots of Happiness.....

2011-06-21T19:24:00.003-05:00

I have picked up a new book titled, Torn by Sarah Parent Walravens. It is a collection of stories from real-life mothers who have faced the decision of whether to continue with their careers or stay-at-home, but the commonality of it is the fact that women are "torn" by their decisions.

I can only speak for myself, but at times I definitely felt torn and whether or not the decisions I made and make are the "right" ones for my family. For any mother, I think we are our own worst enemy. I have learned early on to not compare myself to moms because at the end of the day, I can only do what works for me. When I first decided to leave my full-time job, I struggled with the decision, but when I put the decision in perspective of the overall bigger picture, I realized that my kids are small once, when they are grown I can never go back to replace that time. And even though my kids are still small, looking back, I'm happy I did it. I've got two of the best kids ever and I wouldn't trade any of the moments spent with them.

I will be the first to admit that I'm stern with my kids and they know that, but they are also learning that if they tell the truth, they don't get in trouble (and it's already been tested). I'm also not afraid to be silly with them, they know if they ask me I'll catch fireflies, I play freeze tag, and I will certainly dance and sing as loud as I can. At the end of the day, all I want is that my kids go to bed each and every night knowing how much I love them and I think they do.

I'm not a perfect mom, I've made mistakes and I'm sure I'll make plenty of more along the way, but I'm also not trying to be the perfect mom. I'm not trying to be a "cool" mom, I'm just trying to raise two little ones who grow into responsible individuals who believe in dreams, who believe in themselves, who aspire to be more, and who are willing to work for what they want.

"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies." P. Aretino

“Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." - Unknown

Random thoughts on my m ind.....

2011-06-12T23:46:00.002-05:00

It's late and I've got so much going on in my mind that I thought I'd share....perhaps then I can go to bed and not toss/turn.
I've been having crazy dreams for the last several nights, so crazy that I wake up most nights, I feel like it is almost like a warning , but the dreams are so vastly different that I can't make sense of it.
And then today, I learned something that just sadden me to my core and it makes me wonder does normalcy exist in families? Yes, we all have those quirks, but do most families get along or is there tension most of the time?
Sometimes it is like watching a train wreck before it has even happened and no matter how many warnings you throw, nothing changes, but then wonder why the train wrecked? I just don't get it., but a lot of times we view things the way we want to see things versus the way it actually is.
Also, the Christchurch area was hit with not one, but two more earthquakes (aftershocks) one was 5.5 and then another struck which was over 6.0 - I keep thinking when will this city get a break, how much more can one city sustain? Christchurch was such a vibrant and beautiful city and as we were putting the kids to bed and I said a prayer for those in Christchurch my kids asked some questions and what struck me was that they will never get to see the city how I remember it and how it was because I don't think it will ever be the same, which is sad. The people there are strong and resilient, but enough already.
Is something bigger coming? I really don't know, but I suppose it just makes you want to be with the ones who really do matter the most.

"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." ~Ashleigh Brilliant

And so summer begins.....

2011-06-08T19:34:00.004-05:00

This is the first week the kids have been out of school, my sweet pea is having a hard time adjusting. She likes being home, but I've caught her in her room sobbing. She is missing her friends and her teacher. And although I have tried to comfort her, it seems like it is one of those moments in her life where it is beyond mommy's reach. It is not like a cut or scrap that I can kiss and make it all better because even though I tell her it will be okay, it is not helping her.

The kids begin swimming lessons soon, so I'm hoping that will take her mind off it.

I think this is the first "growing" pain that we have encountered and I know there will be more to come, but as a mom, I feel so helpless in those moments, when my words are not comforting and it is just one of the many life experiences to come. At least she is feeling better about moving into 1st grade. My little man is doing fine, he still enjoys being at home, but towards the end of the year, he would get mad that I would pick him up, so I think he will enjoy going all-day next year.

Our front landscaping is finally finished (for the most part). We are not done with the wine bottle border, we ran out of blue bottles so as soon as we get more blue bottles we can finish the border and we need quite a lot. I could go on more, but I have to get the kiddies to bed....

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." - James Allen

The weekend is over....already....

2011-05-22T21:23:00.005-05:00

Is there a weekend for the weekend? It seems like lately we have been working in our yard and around the house that there is no time for relaxing. We've gotten a lot accomplished, most of our vegetables are in, however, we have a few more to plant. We've started a compost pile and the new front landscaping is finally finished. Yahoo....we put the last of the mulch down on Saturday. We still have the sides of the house and some planting in the back yard. I definitely look forward to once we are done and actually getting to reap the benefits of our hard work.
Yet, I'm sure there will be more projects that the hubby will add to our "do" list since he can't seem to sit still for long periods of time.
My sweet pea had her violin solo recital today and she is getting so good. We had been practicing pretty hard, but overall she performed great! She walked off the stage and said, I made a couple mistakes and I said did you hear anyone that didn't clap? And she said, no everyone clapped and I said well then don't worry because you did great.

Oh, and I hope everyone survived the "rapture," out of all that is and has been taking place in the world, it is sad that the media put such a frenzy into what this man thought, as it says in the bible, "no one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven..." and I don't believe we are suppose to know.

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." a.smith

Would you do it.....

2011-05-16T20:51:00.002-05:00

I'm watching the PBS Special on the Freedom Riders and my words can't express the emotions I am feeling. I vaguely remember learning about their journey in high school, but if I remember the civil rights movement was just a chapter in our history class. And as I watch this documentary, I find myself wondering, could I do it, would I have had the courage and guts to do what these individuals risked their lives doing, the non-violent statement they were making? And I don't know....part of me thinks, yes...but the other part of me is simply unsure.
And then I wonder why the civil rights movement is just a chapter in most high school history books, if it is even discussed at all.
I can't imagine treating another person the way these white people did, it is horrifying and are these people who committed these horrible actions remorseful? And does the younger generation really appreciate the groundwork that these silent hero's did for them? Yes, I'm not naive enough to pretend that racism doesn't exist, it does, however the difference now is that it is hidden, which is that any better? I don't know....
As a parent of two small children, I want my children to look past those differences regardless of the issue, I want my children to be compassionate towards their fellow being. No one should be made to feel they are inferior or less human and I struggle to grasp how others can be so blinded.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this powerful documentary and if you haven't seen it, you should.

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." - Abraham Lincoln

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with the illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." - August Wilson

Happy Mother's Day.......

2011-05-07T21:44:00.002-05:00

My kiddies gave me my mother's day present early, they each had a plant for me that they planted at school. And my little man says, "is it the best mother's gift ever?" and I of course, said yes. And then I said, "do you really want to know what the best gift ever is...." and his curious eyes widened and he said, "yes, what, what...." "you and sissy," I said. He smiled and gave me hug, and that is one reason I love being a mom. It is those innocent and simple moments that I cherish the most.
So of course it made me reflect on the day I first became a mother. I remember when I was pregnant that I had so many fears...would I be a good mother, would I know what to do...I had no motherly instincts would those kick in?
And of course, those instincts did....I don't know when it happened and perhaps it is just as you grow as a mom...from the first feedings, changing the poopy diapers, the first time they gaze into your eyes and squeeze your finger, to the first time they are sick...all of these moments adding up as you gain confidence in yourself. And then slowly with time, you change as a person...you grow from the individual you were before your children to the person you become after....and maybe it doesn't happen for everyone, but I can say I am a much better person after I had my children than I was before. They've taught me patience and my children make me want to be the best person I can be. I have more confidence in myself since having children, weird as it seems.
I'm not a size 6 anymore and I doubt I will ever again be that size again. I put my career on hold so I can raise my children and in turn had to make sacrifices, we changed our life for our children, but I've given birth to two most amazing, beautiful children who have changed my life for the better and I wouldn't change a thing.
I'm happy and proud of who I have become....I am a mother and I never fully understood certain things until I was blessed with mine. And I remember calling my mum one day and said, "I get it now....I didn't before, but I get it." So for me this day isn't a day for me, but rather a moment to reflect on what a privilege it is to be a mom....thank you to my babies for changing my views and me....I love ya!
And I can't really have a post without a special shout out to my mummers.....she has wiped my tears, given me kisses, scolded me, laughed with me, held my hand, shared stories, and much much more. I love you mom!

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren

"It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't." ~Barbara Kingsolver

Digging in the Dirt....

2011-05-04T21:57:00.003-05:00

So, we took a risk and planted some of our plants late this afternoon...we've still been having some colder nights, but the forecast is suppose to be relatively nice. We are redesigning a portion of our front yard and so all our new plants are going there. We planted eight lavender plants and three hostas so far, I still have about 10 more plants to place in the ground, but considering we didn't start till after dinner, we were tuckered out.
We are also making wine bottle torches for the backyard and creating a wine bottle border in the front....I've put a request out for wine bottles...I estimated that I will need about 80 bottles for the ring around our tree and depending on how that looks we may extended it elsewhere. It will be time consuming because I will need to take the labels off the bottles and push each one into the ground without breaking, so it could get tricky, but I can't wait till we are all done with the front. We are also going to extend the little deck we have that is out front just by another five feet...so many landscaping projects this spring/summer, but I can't wait. I love digging in the dirt. I also can't wait to get our garden going, we have lots of lettuce, spinach, squash, peas, strawberries, and various herbs....I love this time of year!!!!!
Our community is having a plant exchange coming up, so I need to get some plants that we have dug up and put in some containers to exchange with others....such a great way to diversify your landscaping.

"You can bury a lot of troubles by digging in the dirt" - Unknown

Chicago in Spring

2011-05-04T21:30:00.002-05:00

My friend invited me on a girls weekend getaway to Chicago to help celebrate her birthday. I was hesitant in going, not because it wasn't going to be fun, but it seems like there is so much to do at home and the simple fact that I would miss my little ones. Then I thought, my hubby has just gotten back from spending 30 days in New Zealand while I took care of things at home and the kids, why not and so I packed a weekend bag and off to Chicago I went.
We stayed right in the midst of downtown on Michigan Avenue and the weather was great. We relaxed in the hotel, ate good food, and then strolled to downtown shops and walked to Navy Pier. And I have to admit, Chicago was blooming, the city was beautiful. I can't wait to return.
The first thing I noticed was gas prices, it is already over $4.60 there, which is about a dollar more than here....it is shocking, however, the strange thing is that the media is not reporting anything on how high gas prices are shooting up, but I suppose when you are in a city such as Chicago, you don't need a car.
It was nice to get away even for a brief time, but like always it is nice to return home....even if the house was not as clean as I had left it.

"I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun." - Katherine Hepburn

Eggs, Sangria, and Fun

2011-04-24T21:49:00.002-05:00

It was a wonderful weekend indeed. We picked up some plants for the yard, we got eight lavender plants, which I can't wait to plant. It has been pretty chilly still, so we didn't plant anything, I'm itching to get in the dirt and go at it.
We took the kids to the local easter egg hunt and I was so proud of my little ones. The hunt starts right at 9:00 am and as people were leaving, a mother comes with two little boys and they were five minutes too late. So, my kids asked if they could give some of their eggs to the kids and I said sure and so they did. I was super proud of them!
Today, we celebrated Easter at my father-in-law's house and my parents came. It was a wonderful time, we ate so much food, drank sangria, and laughed so hard. The kids had fun with another easter egg hunt and then have a go with the pinata, it was so funny to watch the kids. Afterwards, we stopped at my mother-in-law's for another easter egg hunt and we saw an owl as we sat around the fire.
It was a fun-filled packed weekend and in need of another weekend to recover. I'm thankful for these moments with my family!

"Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless." ~Charles M. Crowe

A story for her daddy....

2011-04-11T20:40:00.003-05:00

My sweet pea read me the story she wrote for her daddy. It is titled, "Wen you wer gon" or "When you were gone." She has not conquered spelling, but then again she has only been six for about a month now, but I can read what she is intending to say. She is so excited to read it to him and it is so heartfelt, which is one of the many reasons I love my children. They are still at that age where they are not afraid to display their affection or emotions and I hope that doesn't change.

My sweet pea was informing of an incident that transpired at school and how hurt her feelings were, I told her she needs to be honest with her feelings. I said maybe that wasn't what she meant and so if you don't ask or tell them that it hurt or was bothersome then how is she to know? Of course, all advice I'm trying to conquer myself ;)

Anyway...back to her story...I will spare the misspellings and just type what her story says, so without any further thought interruptions, I present "When you were gone" by my sweet pea

"This is the day we were sad. And our hearts were empty without you.

We missed you when you were in New Zealand. I hope you had a great time in New Zealand.

I love you so much. You're the dad I love the best. I do not want to ask for another dad.

I love you more than a person loves a kid."

The End

So, that was her story....I asked her if she was trying to make her daddy cry and she said, "of course, I cried while he was gone." And I laughed and said, I suppose it is only fair. I will give her credit, in her notebook, she spelled New Zealand as Noosilind...gotta love it!

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - JM Barrie

Lavender buds are a blooming

2011-04-10T21:17:00.004-05:00

I was picking up some leaves and sticks in the yard and saw some new buds and the color coming back to my lavender plants. I'm definitely looking forward to the fresh smell of lavender and making the lavender sugar scrub and lavender cupcakes.

Yes, Spring is here...thank goodness Spring is here! Seeing all the new blossoms and rebirth of plants and trees is so awakening. I took the kids for a picnic and as we walked, we would try to see which plants had buds.

After we had our picnic, we came home and my sweet pea asked if she could have a "tea party" with us, so my little man, the dogs, and I huddled around her little table and it was just a wonderful moment.

I am so blessed! It is easy to caught up into everyday life and all the negative things going around that you forget all your blessings, especially with all the tragedies as the earthquakes, local shootings, and other media events, you have to be thankful for every moment you have. And with Spring in bloom, I'm going to restart the Random Acts of Kindness Campaign that I participated in last year...so tomorrow will be the start, not sure what I will do to kick it off, but I will think of something.

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." Angela Monet

The Countdown is on....

2011-04-03T21:41:00.003-05:00

So, we are officially counting the number of days left till my hubby returns. The kids are excited when I tell them the number, their smile turns into a huge grin of excitement and they talk about how they are going to make a whole bunch of signs.

I've definitely adjusted to his absence, but it doesn't lessen how much I miss him, which I do, there are times when I feel somewhat apathetic, but on the whole I can't wait for his return. The kids and I have been staying busy, which helps. I have no complaints, the kids are great, there is the occasional fighting and bickering, but overall I'm such a lucky mom. I've got two of the greatest kiddies ever! And I tell them all the time, how proud I am and how helpful they are since daddy is gone. We planted our herbs (they are indoors right now) and I think this week we'll grab some veggies and try to get a good head start on the seedlings that way when it's time to plant them outside we have plants vs seeds.

This weekend was super busy with play dates, speaking at a conference, travel to Iowa City to see family, and then more play dates. I was asked by the Transplant Coordinator by one of the hospitals to speak at a conference they had - I was the kickoff speaker to the event and I think I spoke for about five minutes and then they played the digital story I created during my MA program. I was a bit nervous and considering I didn't really know what I was going to say till the night before, I think I did well and didn't have my nose pressed to my notes. After, I spoke and they played the story, everyone clapped and some stood, a lot were crying and as I left, the transplant coordinator, just squeezed me. It was a neat experience and I was glad I did it, I'm honored they thought to ask me, especially when I feel like what I did wasn't anything that grand, there are stories like ours everywhere.

I'm hoping to hit the Omaha zoo with the kiddies before the hubby return as a special getaway treat, I just need to figure out when, so that will be next on our list.

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." - EB White

Growing Up.....

2011-03-26T09:08:00.002-05:00

My wee man celebrated his 5th birthday! And I can't believe it, he is five, I know I've said it before that it just goes by so fast, but seriously where did my baby go? I think I have mentioned in a prior post that he was our "surprise" baby and I'm so thankful for that. I definitely have a mentality of things happen for a reason whether we grasp it then or later and although I definitely wasn't prepared or ready for a second, we made it work and have been blessed with such a funny and caring little boy.

I'm super proud of him! And I want to freeze these moments, we are celebrating his birthday this weekend and so he kept asking, is it my "real" birthday or is this a "celebration" birthday and when I would say it was his "real" birthday, he would then say, well when is the celebration? And when daddy called via skype to sing him happy birthday, he said, "daddy, you've made my day," I think both the hubby and I cried.

So, it was a "yes" day yesterday, we went to Chuckie E Cheese, we ate cake, we read books, and they stayed up past their bedtimes to we watch movies (they made it through one and then fell asleep through the second one). And as my little man ended his day and was desperately trying to stay awake, he squeezed my arm and said, "thank you mommy for the best day ever." And I said, "no, thank you," to which he looks at me and says, "what did I do?" And I said, "for blessing me with you."

So, happy birthday little man, you gave me such worries before you even came into this world and even though I still get on edge with your daring antics, you are growing into a wonderful little boy!

"The spirit is there in every boy; it has to be discovered and brought to light." R. Baden-Powell

Does absence make the heart grow fonder....

2011-03-24T21:55:00.002-05:00

We are about a week into my hubby's trip and I was doing well, a wee sappy when he left, but I've tried to remain busy with the kids, work, pets, chickens, and the household chores. The kids have been great, of course, they miss "daddy" and bedtime is the hardest part. My little man said, "we just aren't a family with the three of us." My heart sank, so we use our imaginations and travel to see him. Yet, again, I try to keep them busy too. It definitely helps that we can "skype."

After the kids went to bed tonight and I finished folding the laundry, I decided to just rest, no work, spoiled myself with some television and just relaxed....and then it crept on me...the stillness in the house, no noise, except for Barney, the pug, snoring. The house just seems empty. As I've posted before, the hubby and I don't always make "us" a priority as it is easy to get caught up with everything else, that it is easy to pass up date nights or one-on-one time with each other than asking someone to watch the kids, so we just don't do it. And although I knew he would be gone for several weeks, I'm not sure I was quite ready for the emotions that have come with his absence. The last time we skyped, I started to break down, which I quickly tried to hide because I didn't want him to know that I was crying and tonight, I simply miss him. I miss hearing his voice, his crazy antics, and all of who he is.

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't do well with a long distance relationship, but I know many people do. It gives you an appreciation for your relationship, especially coming from a military family and knowing my mom had to go sometimes six or nine months out of the year without my father or those who have partners currently overseas.

So I do think absence makes the heart grow fonder....at least for me...I'm looking forward to wrapping my arms around my hubby, showering him with kisses, and telling him how much I love him!

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - K. Gibran

Aotearoa

2011-03-22T09:04:00.003-05:00

Well today is the last day to blog for "blog4nz "and I hope that is has encouraged people to think about visiting, even after the earthquake. They had many people blogging on their behalf. As I was debating on what to post, I couldn't decide. There are truly many amazing and wonderful places to visit and for this to be my last post, it is hard to pick.
So, I've posted this slide show on previous posts, but I felt it was appropriate for this purpose as well. New Zealand holds a special place in my heart, regardless of how long I've been in the states, I still call it "home."

Aotearoa

Split Apple Rock

2011-03-21T20:40:00.003-05:00

Here is my second post for "blog4nz," it is a little late, but the day is not over yet. One of my favorite adventures while we were visiting New Zealand, was going to Abel Tasman to go sea kayaking.

The only issue is that I have a fear of drowning, so for the most part, I stay away from water. The morning of our adventure was beautiful, the sun was warm and the air was crisp.

Our guide, was providing instructions to us when the panic hit me. I couldn't do it. I looked at my husband and our friends and said, I can't do it..."what if I fall in," "what if I capsize," "what if..." I am a horrible swimmer, will I drown?

And the guide was empathic, trying to help ease my nerves and as I looked out and took in where I was and the beauty of this place, I looked at my husband and said, "get in." He started to talk and I said, "don't...just go." And we did...I paddled so hard and fast that when we hit our picnic spot, the guide said that was the fastest he had ever gotten to the secluded beach and I was just happy that I hadn't fallen in.

We visited Split Apple Rock (pictured above) and had a nice picnic of tea and a few caramel slices on the beach, it was perfect. Our two guides were fantastic, funny, and great to be with.

The beach we paddled too......

I can't say that I have overcome my fear, but I certainly can say I met my fear head on and came out smiling!

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." - Andre Gide

Overlooking Mt. Eden

2011-03-20T08:32:00.005-05:00

As I blog today with many others in support of "blog4nz" over the next 72 hours. My intent was to reminisce about my travels to the South Island, but since my husband is currently in New Zealand with the Iowa Rotary Club and has been spending some time in Auckland area. I thought I would quickly blog about a picture he just emailed me.

My remaining posts will be about the many adventures we had when we were there. This is my husbands first trip by himself over there (completely jealous) and his first visit to the North Island. When we have gone, we typically stay in the South Island, only because that is what I am most familiar with and family is there, but after his trip, whenever we go again as a family, we will have to visit the North Island.

So, as we were communicating via skype, he sends over this photo. It was sunset and he said it is overlooking Mt. Eden, a volcano. It's Maori name is Maungawhau, "Hill of the Whau Tree." It is one of Auckland's most famous landmarks. I know he is enjoying his time there, his host family is wonderful, which is no surprise because most Kiwi's that you meet are always warm and friendly. He had to rub it in my face that on his first night, he ate a giant bowl of hokey pokey, which is one of the best tasting ice creams EVER! I told him no more gloating or he can't come home, but knowing my husband, he would probably like to stay in New Zealand forever anyway.

Blog4NZ

2011-03-17T22:11:00.002-05:00

I just signed up for this grassroots blogging effort that is taking place March 21st for 72 hours. So, check out my posts during this time, I will be blogging about Christchurch and some of the other wonderful spots in the South Island.....

This is what they are are doing

We are asking bloggers and travel websites around the world to publish at least one positive post on travel in New Zealand on March 21-23 March, 2011.
We are providing guest posts and photo essays that may be used royalty-free for those who would like to take part, but haven’t been to New Zealand.
We are talking with key New Zealand tourism organisations to ensure maximum impact and exposure.
We are combing all those posts in one central location so people can see, repost, and retweet those they like.

Can You Believe It....

2011-03-12T23:27:00.002-06:00

That is what I heard most of the day from my sweet pea...."can you believe it, I'm going to be SIX," she exclaimed! No, I can't believe it. I look at this little sassy individual and think, she isn't six, has it really been that long! And indeed, it has....I remember thinking when she was just a wee baby, that it would take so long for her walk, talk, school, etc...and now all of it has past or beginning.
We had her teacher conferences and her teacher said that she is reading above her grade level and really it has just been a few months that she learned to read and she is flowering. She loves to read and write letters. Her big personality sometimes clashes with me already, so I need to learn how to cope with this, everything has to have a reason and I know it is her wanting to know what is going on. We are all set and ready for her party, she is pretty excited, this is her first party where she has invited some school friends...we are having two small parties, one for her friends and then for family...it will help me. It is a cupcake theme, so we made cherry cupcakes and then I made a huge batch of almond buttercream frosting and the kids will get to decorate their own cupcake. I have tons of sprinkles and different toppings and I think it will be fun. My mom made little aprons for all the kids and then I picked up some small bags, glitter glue, and foam stickers at the Dollar Tree so they can also decorate their own treat bags.
Any who...it should be a good time.

Happy Birthday my sweet pea....I love you so very much!!! When I hear this song, I always think of my wee girl and those restless nights.

"A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future." ~Author Unknown

One Spark Sets off Another....

2011-03-08T20:36:00.005-06:00

So, I posted about the art piece that hubby worked on and I think it was the spark that set the fire.

For weeks, he was having trouble trying to come up with what to get as a "thank you" gift for his host families while he is in New Zealand. He wanted to get something "Iowa" themed, but he wanted something unique. So, we went to various places, but he couldn't find the right thing...we picked up some of the Bing candies because those are made in Sioux City, a couple Iowa State and Iowa stuff and then one night he showed me what he created.

I love it and told him he should create each family one, all different, but similar. He had to create eight and I think they turned out great.

So here is his Iowa art....

and here is a closer view

It won't be long till his trip and I'm going to miss him so very much, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I couldn't be more happier for him. I think it will also be good for us, the longest we've been apart is two weeks, so this is all new for us, but he's got his Skype account all set up. Hopefully, this time will go quickly for us.

"Observe everything. Communicate Well. Draw, Draw, Draw." - Frank Thomas, Disney Animator

A day in the kitchen....

2011-03-05T22:02:00.006-06:00

yes, quite literally I spent most of the day in the kitchen prepping and preparing stuff for tomorrow's big surprise party. The hubby left with the kids to visit his dad and so I took advantage of that time to get everything ready. I had ordered some NZ meat pies that were coming in from the east coast, however, I put the order in a day late and so they won't be here in time for the party (bugger it all), so considering that was going to be one of my dishes, I quickly had to think of something else, while still keeping within my budget. So, I think I've got the dishes ironed out thankfully I have two more birthday parties to host, so the NZ meat pies will not go to waste.

I also took a stab at making caramel slice - a baked treat that is so good and great for any occasions, picnics, birthdays or just with tea (my favorite). There are a variety of "slices," such as lemon, caramel, chocolate, rice bubble, etc...On our last trip to NZ with our friends the "Perkins" we went out kayaking and had a picnic on a cove and the guide packed tea and caramel slices....it was a perfect treat and one of my best memories of the trip. So, I wanted to try and make them...here is the recipe I used....

Crust
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 tablespoon ice water
1 large egg yolk

Toppings
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter, diced
2 tablespoons golden syrup (such as Lyle's Golden Syrup) or dark corn syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

6 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped
3 tablespoons whipping cream
Flaked sea salt

For crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 11x7x2-inch metal baking pan. Blend first 4 ingredients in processor. Add butter. Using on/off turns, blend until coarse meal forms. Add 1 tablespoon ice water and egg yolk. Blend until moist clumps form. Press dough onto bottom of pan; pierce all over with fork. Bake until golden, piercing if crust bubbles, about 20 minutes. Cool completely.

For toppings:

Whisk first 5 ingredients in medium saucepan over medium heat until sugar dissolves, butter melts, and mixture comes to boil. Attach candy thermometer to side of pan. Boil gently until caramel is thick and temperature registers 225°F, whisking constantly, about 6 minutes. Pour caramel evenly over crust; cool 15 minutes to set.
Meanwhile, melt chocolate with cream in microwave in 15-second intervals, stirring occasionally. Spread chocolate over warm caramel; sprinkle with sea salt. Refrigerate until chocolate is set, at least 1 hour. DO AHEAD Can be made 3 days ahead. Cover and keep refrigerated.
Cut dessert lengthwise into 4 strips. Cut each strip crosswise into 5 or 6 slices. Transfer to platter and serve.

I also made cupcakes (12 filled with strawberry preserves and 12 plain) but I used a kiwi butter cream frosting and for the cupcake batter I cheated and used a box mix.....I had planned on making them from scratch, but by the time I was ready to make the cupcakes, several hours had passed and I wanted to get them done. Below is the recipe for the Kiwi Butter cream frosting..and the kiwi is subtle.

3 cups confectionery sugar

1 stick of butter, softened

1/3 cup of kiwi puree or just plain old mashed up kiwis****

some vanilla extract to flavor

Cream the butter and sugar together, then add the kiwi. Mix well and add vanilla, mix again.

****I made this twice once with mashed up kiwis and then one I blended, the only difference is the frosting that had the mashed kiwi was a bit more chunkier...where as the blended one didn't have pieces of kiwi chunks)

My favorite part about spending the day in the kitchen is cranking up the music, dancing while I bake, do dishes, etc... and then sampling all the stuff...doesn't help with the waistline, but you only live once ;)

"I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends." - Nancie Carmody

A New Piece.....

2011-03-05T21:43:00.004-06:00

When that creative fire flows, you have to create...last weekend the hubby had the urge to paint. So we went to the hardware store and he got some stuff to make a large canvas. He made one for each of the kids and then a large one for his piece.

The kids immediately got into the paint hands first of course and went at, my sweet pea's is not finished, but my little man is done. He was so proud of his painting and to be quite honest, I actually love it!

I love how he blended the colors and the way the final picture turned out. He hung it on his wall and I asked if I could have it for my room and he said, he will think about it.

And my hubby's turned out great as well, he calls it "Life" as soon as he was finished, I immediately knew what it meant and I love his piece. We hung it in our dinning room, he is not so sure about it, but I love it. I love the rich colors and when you get close you see hints of gold and silver. It has been a while since he has painted and I think he should do it more often, but I suppose with anything, when the urge hits, it hits.

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.” — Henry Ward Beecher

Update on Family Overseas....

2011-02-27T09:55:00.002-06:00

We have heard from I believe everyone since the aftermath of the Christchurch quake, it took a few days to hear from everyone, but we have. I'm thankful for that as the death toll continues to rise. The last I checked it was 147 deaths with still more than 200 missing. And I read that 25% of the city will need to be rebuilt, which could even be more, once things have settled. I think the city officials and government have been trying to move as quickly as they can, which helps when you are in recovery. There are lessons to be learned after any disasters, but I'm proud of how quickly things have moved into action there, but it shouldn't surprise me because Kiwi's are a resilient bunch of people and that is just their nature.
I'm feel so blessed that all my family is safe, we are thousands of miles apart, but they are my whanau to the core and are a part of me. Christchurch is still my home and I wish there was so much more I could do. I made a small donation and thought I would post the official donation link here as well.

Kia Kaha Christchurch....forever strong!

Aotearoa

View more presentations from Dena Fife

"There's a real purity in New Zealand that doesn't exist in the states. It's actually not an easy thing to find in our world anymore." - Elijah Wood

My Heart is Aching....

2011-02-22T16:00:00.006-06:00

Yesterday late afternoon, I heard that Christchurch was impacted by a 6.4 earthquake, which would be lunch time over there. In September, that area was hit with a 7.1 earthquake, damage was sustained to homes, buildings and such, but there were no deaths, most likely because of the time the earthquake hit. There have been confirmed deaths with this most recent one and more are missing.

I was worried for my family that is there and was able to reach my cousin via Skype. He showed me his yard and the water that was seeping up to the ground flooding his garden. He was safe, my auntie and other cousins were safe. I have yet to hear from a few others, but I'm hoping and praying they are safe.

As I see pictures and am updated via Twitter and Facebook, my heart sinks to see the destruction of this vibrant, beautiful city. Christchurch is an extremely beautiful city, known for its gardens and it really has one of the most attractive downtown areas and my heart breaks. I had to pull myself away from the updates, I couldn't read any more about the deaths and I couldn't look at anymore pictures of this once beautiful, vibrant city center that is reduced to ruble.

I pray for those who are missing, I pray for the ones who have lost their life and I pray for my family. I desperately want to hug them all, tell them I love them and keep them safe, but being thousand of miles apart it is hard to do, but I'm so thankful for these social network sites. It is my only means of connecting with my loved ones who are so far out of reach. My heart is heavy and I feel at loss for the people of Christchurch. They expect the death count to continue to rise and in the coming days, I hope to get word from the other family members that we have yet to hear from.

The Christchurch Church Cathedral - my trip 2007

The Church after the earthquake - Feb. 2011

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/photos/4688271/Christchurch-aftershock-Feb-22

"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on Earth, the peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father,
brothers all are we,
Let me walk with my brother,
in perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me,
let this be the moment now.
With every step I take,
let this be my solemn vow,
To take each moment and live each moment
in peace, eternally.
Let there be Peace on Earth,
and let it begin with me."
Jill Jackson & Sy Miller

What a birthday....

2011-02-20T11:56:00.003-06:00

It was my birthday and we kept it low-key. I got breakfast in bed and lots of love from my little ones. The kids told me they were giving me something I couldn't return and then they shouted with excitment....LOVE! I told them, could I get it with lots of sprinkles. Then my little man said that there is nothing better for birthdays then a tickle fight and cuddles, which I have to agree. Later that night, my parents came by and watched the kids while we went out to dinner with some friends, it was a good time. We then came back to the house and the hubby made me pavalova for my birthday dessert, which it was quite delish. I felt so spoiled. It was a great birthday and I feel so lucky. It has taken some time, but I'm at the point in my life where I am comfortable with myself, which I suppose comes with getting older.

Today, we are heading to my sweet pea's group recital - she is looking forward to it and it is amazing how much she is learning. I'm excited to hear her play. She is getting so good at the violin, I'm so proud of my little sweet pea!

"The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible." ~Judith Regan

Moving On

2011-02-13T15:09:00.002-06:00

Keeping moving on Winter, the beautiful warmth and sunshine that Spring brings is near, especially today. Snow is melting fast and I'm starting to see patches of grass, the top of our snowman fell, and you can step outside without tensing your body because of the bone chilling temperatures.
The plans for the March parties are also moving along nicely. I'm still in the midst of the two birthday party planning, I've got the dates, but still working out activities and if I want to have the parties here or elsewhere. The kids do not want together parties and they continue to keep changing their themes, so I need to narrow it down. I think I've got most of the details worked out for the hubby's surprise going away party (he doesn't read my blog unless I actually show him a post and he thinks we are having a huge birthday party for both the kids because he will be gone) so I know I'm safe posting that.
And I've also moved on regarding all the family drama that took place several months ago and myself. We still have not really talked and most likely won't, but it doesn't bother me anymore. When I was working out who to invite for the upcoming party, the thought of exclusion did occur and I had planned on doing so since I was excluded from her son's party, which hurt quite a lot.
Yet, the more I thought about it, it didn't feel right, this is not a party for me, it is for my husband and then my kids birthday parties, do they want their aunt/uncle/cousin to be there...of course. The party is not about me, so my personal feelings should be put aside and they will be. Will she come to either my hubby's or the kids, perhaps. Does this mean things will move on to some normalcy, probably not, but I think there will be enough people there that I don't need to worry about it. As most of the time, I will put a smile on my face, speak very little, and have fun with those I do get along with.

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so." - Unknown

Indulgence.....only for a short while....

2011-02-10T18:56:00.002-06:00

The other night the kids were knit picking each other constantly and bickering with one another. Now of course, this happens in a household with siblings, however, I was at my wit's end between the tattling and Mommy "he did," "she said" conversation that by the time the hubby came home I was maxed to my limit.
So, I locked myself in the bathroom and ran a piping hot bubble bath, lit some candles and simply relaxed. I could hear the kids outside the door, "Mommy, let me in...unlock the door." I cranked up my itunes and enjoyed the brief soak in the tub. Now, this is a simple pleasure and I hate to admit it, but it has probably been since we moved in 2007 since I have taken a "relaxing" hot bubble bath. I use to have them all the time whenever I was stressed, but it seemed I stopped after the kids. And by the time the day was done and kids in bed, I was tired, and there was no time for baths.
I really forgot how nice it was to slip into a nice bubble bath and just soak and it was a grand feeling, however, brief the moment.
I now understand the "Calgon take me away" slogan....so it got me thinking what are some other simple indulgences that I am missing?

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” Etty Hillesum

A lot to get ready for....

2011-02-02T16:24:00.002-06:00

February is now upon us just like the large winter storm we had, which we are all shoveling out of today. I'm glad that the schools closed, because I wouldn't have sent mine anyway. I have a lot that is taking place in the next month, that I'm still trying to even come to terms that it will soon be here.
I've got three parties to plan and get everything ready for the hubby's departure to New Zealand, which is definitely going to be difficult. We've talked about it with the kids, so they do know that it is approaching - I'm just not sure how they will actually handle it when the day finally arrives. They don't like it when we talk about it, but I keep telling them that it will an adventure for daddy and that he will be home soon. The kids and I made him a book of pictures and drawings from the kids so he can take with him and we will communicate via Skype, so I imagine it won't be too bad.
The kids are doing well at school, the school principal stopped me one morning and mentioned that my sweet pea read to her the other day and she was so impressed with her reading skills. I'm so proud of her - we have been working at home and I recently purchased some basic reading books (the school calls them browsing books). The books are typically 5-6 pages with one sentence each and then includes "like" words to help them and I have to say since we picked some of those up the kids are indeed getting better.
My goal for my little man is to have him reading on his own by this summer, he is reading with help, so I think he will be able to reach it.
Well, I've reached my ending for now...I was trying to think of something else clever, but I keep getting interrupted, so that is my que for now.

"February, when the days of winter seem endless and no amount of wistful recollecting can bring back any air of summer." - Shirley Jackson

My Driven Man.....

2011-01-22T21:37:00.002-06:00

My hubby is a hard worker, he is definitely driven. He learned this week that he was selected to be the President of Environmental Professionals of Iowa (EPI). I am so proud of him! I'm not entirely sure what his duties as President entails, but I know that EPI has a conference every year and there are several meetings, so I'm sure he will be busy.
I know my hubby is smart and talented, so it is nice to see that others recognize that in him too and I think there are many doors that will begin to open for him, if he chooses to open those doors.
So, here is to my wonderful husband! I love you so incredibly much and I am so proud of you! You are an amazing man and I'm glad that I can share this journey with you!

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.” - Dr. Seuss

Inspiration all around....

2011-01-22T14:54:00.004-06:00

I follow Megan O'Dea's blog where she posts the most creative projects that she is working on and I saw one on repurposed cabinets, which she found from another blog, titled My Repurpsed Life, which is another great blog. Seriously, who knew the things you can do with extra stuff around the house. I thought the idea was great and new that it would be something I would want to do, the next time I came around extra cabinet door. Well that chance came sooner than I expected.

The hubby has added a section of cabinets in our kitchen and we left the top two open, so we didn't need the doors, I told my hubby about the project and we had left over chalkboard paint from my little's man room and we decided to try it out. We didn't do any embellishments and kept it simple, the hubby used lag bolts as hooks and I think it turned out great. We have another door that we may do for my sweet pea's room and I thought I would do add some ribbons and stuff to that one, but here are some pictures.

Picture of the lag bolts we used as hooks

Picture of the finished project....

Thanks Megan for your creativeness, it is always inspiring!

“A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right man’s brow.” — Charles Brower

Statewide Voluntary Preschool Program

2011-01-19T08:55:00.002-06:00

The newly elected governor has proposed cutting the Statewide Voluntary Preschool Program, which beginning next fall, I won't have any children in preschool, so it won't affect me, but I think he is making a mistake.
I've discussed this in my blog previous and I know there are a lot of people against the issue and doesn't think it should be supported, but before it is cut, I think there needs to be considerations as to what the Universal Preschool Program is and what qualifies a "preschool" to receive the funding.
The president of our school's parent group sent out an email asking parents to send in testimonies to legislators, I've sent lots of letters to legislators, senators, the governor on various topics. I not only support the preschool program, but I support a total restructuring of the schools, which I didn't touch on, but here is my letter that I sent.

This is in regards to the Statewide Voluntary Preschool Program - I believe it will be a huge mistake in cutting the Statewide Voluntary Preschool Program, not because both of my children received this grant, but because early education is key to building a life long learner. I am a stay-at-home mother to two, one is in K and the other is currently in the PreK AM program at Cowles. If the grant was not available, my son would not be going to any PreK program because we would not be able to afford it. My husband works full-time, we do not qualify for any assistance programs because his income is higher than low-income levels, however, we struggle to make ends meet and the simple fact is it is because of this grant that my son is able to go. I work with my son on various learning components, but what he is learning that I can not teach is the social component of the Preschool program...he is learning how to share, how to cooperate with peers, how to take turns, and how to interact with other students as well as listening skills. The social skills a child develops at an early age is just as important and are critical in developing a healthy personality. When high-quality early-childhood is available this education can improve a child's economic and social outcomes over the long term and there are studies that prove this, which I highly recommend that all avenues are explored before cutting this program. Preschool programs play an important factor in building successful learners. The early education preschool grant for four year olds is a hot topic, some people feel tax money shouldn't be paying for preschool programs, but I think it boils down to how it is presented and what qualifies as a preschool program. First, it is referred to as the Universal Preschool Grant...well how does the state define "universal?" This can mean many things to different people and this is where the issues begin to rise...does universal mean free and available to all, does it mean affordable and available at reduced cost, or does it mean a subsidy or tax-break? Also, what preschools qualify for the program? What are the standards? All of those questions need to be answered before you blindly cut this program. Studies show that a montessori education leads to children with better social and academic skills and children who come out of a montessori education are 96% more likely to graduate high school....those statistics are higher than the State of Iowa's graduation average. Please consider this decision and the ramifications it will have if it is cut.

There are a lot of public programs and I understand when money is tight, you need to evaluate all avenues, but I believe that education is key and we are not doing enough when it comes to preparing the children of the future. Would my children be successful without the preschool program? Yes and No...because I was a stay-at-home mom I have been able to teach them various things to prepare them for school, their ABC's, counting to 100, some basic addition, colors, shapes, etc...however, when my sweetpea started PreK last year, it took her five months to feel comfortable enough in the classroom with the other students. When I would drop her off, she would cry, she didn't want to go not because of the learning, but because she was unsure about this new environment and granted she was in a montessori school, so the teacher she had last year is the same teacher she has this year, so she didn't have to go through the adjustment periods of a new classroom. She was familiar with the routine and the expectations of the classroom and she could focus on learning.
My little man, had an adjustment this year, but he adapted a lot quicker than my sweetpea. He will still come home sometimes and ask, why so and so didn't want to play with him or why this or that happened, but when he enters the school year next fall in kindergarten he will also know the routine and expectations of his classroom. The students will be familiar and again, he doesn't have to have the anxiety that he experienced in the first few months of the school season, which is another reason why I really enjoy the montessori methods.
My sweetpea will enter 1st grade and enter a new classroom with a new teacher, but she will see familiar faces and she will have the new teacher till she leaves 3rd grade. My children already have a zeal for learning new things because it is something that we have made important in our house and their school is supplementing that thirst by the various activities the children learn. I am lucky that my children were able to participate in this program and really I wouldn't have known about it until the school made me aware of it, I only wish that the legislators take what has been presented and really evaluate the issues before blindly cutting the program.

“The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

A Reunion in Planning.....

2011-01-15T13:43:00.002-06:00

I'm super excited that a family reunion is in planning motion. Thanks to Facebook, I've reconnected with family I always knew existed, but really didn't know and 25 years ago, there was a family reunion and we have rekindled the interest to plan another.

It will be in New Zealand, next January, so it gives me time to save and get the kids passports in order.

I've offered my services, which will be limited since I am here and most everyone is there, but I'm sure there are a few things that I can do. If my parents and my sister go, it will be the first time since I was five that we were in New Zealand as a family. My parents have made a few trips back, I've made two with just my husband and I and my sister has not been back since she was a child, so I think it would be great if we could all go. For most groups of 10 or more, the airline is willing to give a group discount, so that is also a plus.

It will be exciting to see the planning come to realization as the closer we get. I wonder what activities they will have? The last reunion someone compiled a reunion yearbook, with everyone's names and pictures...I said that I would redo one and maybe save it on cd's or create a digital story of the family...not sure yet...ideas are stirring though.

Maori proverb: Ka mau koe ki nga kupu o ou tupuna - Hold fast to the words of your ancestors

Survived the First Week of the New Year...Woohoo...

2011-01-08T08:33:00.001-06:00

Yes, I managed to survive the first week of the New Year with no major problems, outbursts, tears, fights, etc....I say that is a great start! I'm keeping busy with work, the kids, and the Norwex stuff, which I also had my first party of the year that was also a success, so we are on a good start.The hubby and I had a discussion of what we would like this year to be and what we need to prioritize - I think when he comes back from his trip to NZ we will know for sure if moving there is something we want. Both of us want to move, but we don't know where we want to go. I love living in Iowa, there are great people, great communities and I'm sure we will always come back, but we both want a change, yet we are not sure where we want to make that change. I would love to go to NZ, but would I like living there? So, I think Darren will be the deciding factor - he will be there for a little over a month, living with families, so he will be able to get an idea and if he likes it meet some people to network with. I think when it gets closer to summer, I will expand my job search. My contract will end in September, and even though I've applied for a couple jobs out of state, I haven't made it my focus, so perhaps I will expand my job search to various states.

On a different note, my husband bought me my first Raygun shirt - it says, "I'm not a player, I just blog a lot" - I like it and it was a nice surprise. I like that store and there are a few shirts that I would like to have.Both the hens are laying eggs and we are getting a dozen a week, which is a little more than what we consume, so we've been giving some eggs away. It is nice just having eggs at hand, one night we were making cookies and there weren't any and my hubby went to the coop and came back with two.

The kids are back in school and back to the normal routine of things, both were ready to see all their school friends and get back into the classrooms, which is good. Yesterday the kids wanted to see some old home videos and we watch one when my little man was born and my sweet pea's first birthday. It was funny to see them react to the video and it was also nice to be reminded of those times. I forget how quickly they grow and how those times when they were babies are gone. Sometimes I definitely would like another wee baby around, but then again I know we are done. I've got two wonderful, bright kids that keep me on my toes as it is. And I woke up to a note that said "I love my family, dey are the best. I love my mommy, my daddy, and my broter." My sweet pea said, did you get my letter...would you like me to read it to you? I said of course and watching her and listening to her made me think of how when she was an infant, she would scream her little head every night between 4pm to 8pm due to colic and I would rock her, bathe her, take her for a car ride, bounce her and wonder if I ever was going to survive and now she stood before me reading this lovely letter. That is happiness.

I saw the quote below and thought how appropriate for the beginning of a new year and new outlook...

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." - Groucho Marx

A New Year Upon Us....

2010-12-29T08:29:00.003-06:00

With the New Year ever so close, it is definitely a time of reflection. 2010 has been a horrible year emotionally, which oddly enough all began in December 2009, okay, I can't say it all began then, but the spark was lit. A few relationships have dissolved and so I think it is time for a new start.
I'm good with my insights/intuition of people, I've always been good at reading people and for that reason, I've been careful with who I allow into my circle. And for some time I have not followed my intuition...which to some extent has left my guard down and for me to fall into the situations I've been in and the "anger trap." Ah, yes, let's just say I fell into this one too many times this year. A lot of it is stress, there are times when I definitely feel like my own life is in disarray, not all the time, but sometimes and sometimes I feel like my hubby doesn't hear/see me and so it is easy to just go on, so I stop opening up to him.
However, you can't really grow or move on to a new start till you recognize and deal with your own faults and I can't believe I'm doing this, but hey I want to move forward, not backward, so here it is :

I don't recognize how sometimes I can come across to others - I've definitely been told that I can seem "cold or harsh"
I can be dismissive
I can hold people to high expectations/standards...this applies to myself too, I'm often harder on myself than others
I sometimes focus on the details rather than the big picture
I have an intense temper, when pushed to that level and I can be cutting
It is very difficult for me to relax, something I've dealt with all my life...I'm tense
I tend to hold grudges...I may forgive, but I definitely hold grudges unless it has been years and then I've just moved on
I have difficulty communicating my feelings to people I care about, I can do it easily with pen, but I can't seem to verbalize it
I can be stubborn
I don't handle stress very well, I internalize it
I don't let to many people get to close...hard to get to know
My feelings get hurt rather easily
Okay, this can go either way...emotional
For the most part, I'm a conflict avoider...I will hold my tongue because I don't want to cause any pain or hurt to anyone
I bottle my feelings up till I've had enough or pushed and so this ties into the above statement and number 5 and maybe even 7

And I'm sure there are more, but I think that is a good start...as I was writing the list, I wanted to take some off as I felt I could "justify" my behavior, but then I stopped myself because justifying it, is not facing it or dealing with it...so I forced myself to add it to the list. There are a lot of weaknesses and I think I would have a harder time coming up with strengths, but I will try.

I'm a good listener and will do what I can to make someone feel better or at ease
I'm empathic and concerned with others
I'm good at reading people and can pick up on things that may not seem so obvious to others
I can look at things from different perspectives...however this can also be a weakness
I'm not afraid of hard work, if I put my mind to something I will do it
I'm idealistic...this too can also be a weakness
I will sacrifice and do whatever is needed for my children/family
I'm a friend for life..my circle is small, but I will be a long-standing friend
I like to do things for other people
I will find my own way...I don't necessarily follow mainstream (also could be a weakness)
I'm a good negotiator
I prefer balance and harmony in my life

Okay, so my weakness out list my strengths....so what is next? Well, I need to work on the weaknesses and find a balance between the two. If I find myself becoming angry, I need to walk away, calm down and then re-enter. And I need to go to my old self thinking..that everyone has something to offer, even those that I have issues with, so what is next...

feed and embrace the strengths
face my weaknesses and seek to overcome them
talk through my thoughts or discuss with someone
take in everything - don't be dismissive
when I become angry, I lose - work through the anger before expressing it otherwise I fall into the anger trap
keep eye on big picture - if I find myself focusing on the details, take a step back and refocus
be accountable for my actions
be humble
assume the best instead of the worse
and last and probably the hardest of all....Relax

So, now that I've opened myself up and feel exposed to the world, I'm somewhat hopeful that I'm moving in the right direction. It's definitely not the easiest thing copping to your weaknesses, but I can't live with discord in my life and I need to find the balance. So here is to 2011, a new beginning to a better year!

"Life at any time can become difficult: life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life."-Morarji Desai

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."- Lao Tzu

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." ~Benjamin Franklin

Is it already over.....

2010-12-26T13:10:00.003-06:00

Ah, the joys of the Christmas season are fading behind as the stores fill with people returning, exchanging items. or taking advantage of the "after-Christmas" sales. We are picking up the glorious mess that is the aftermath of Christmas. And yes, Santa was good to the kids - my sweet pea received an art table that she can sit and draw, paint, or color. My little man received an electronic drum set with headphones, so he can bang away in the comfort of his room.
The kids were spoiled by all their grandparents and the kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. My little man, would say, "awesome, wow, this is great" as he would open his gifts. My sweet pea is quieter with her words, but would have a smile across her face.
We ventured to my MIL house on Christmas Eve and opened gifts there and the kids fell asleep on the way home. On Christmas morning, both the hubs and I waited for the kids to come running in our room to wake us, but that didn't happen. My husband did get up around 7:00 to check on the living room and to his surprise he found our sweet pea sitting underneath the Christmas tree admiring the magic of what Santa left behind. Surprisingly, she didn't touch a toy or present....no sure if I would have had that self-control at that age.
I asked her why she didn't get us up, and she said she was just enjoying it all. We have no idea how long she had been sitting there by herself. I told her that on Christmas day, she can get us up any time she wants. We had to wake up my little man, he definitely enjoys his sleep, but he was excited to be as he stepped out in the living room.
Once we opened up presents, we had our Nerf war - it was fun and filled with laughter, except for the moment when I got hit in check with one of the foam darts, it is good those are made with foam.
‎And since we had decided on staying home for Christmas dinner, we ended up having brunch, so we made omelets, crepes, fruit, cinnamon rolls and bacon of course. The kids enjoyed the brunch and then my FIL stopped over for a visit. The kids were excited to see Grandpa and Grandma, especially since they didn't know they were coming. We played games and then later that evening we stopped over at my parent's house to exchange gifts and have dessert.

It was a long day and the kids were quickly fell asleep once we got home. It is almost sad that people go to so much work during the month of December and in a flash of a day it is over. Well, I hope everyone here had a wonderful Christmas like we did! May your New Year be blessed!

"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. " ~Andy Rooney

Pay it Forward

2010-12-23T23:03:00.004-06:00

So, the hubby and I did some last minute shopping while my dad watched the kiddies. We were on our way home, when we stopped for a quick bite at Arby's. We pull to the drive-thru window and the worker tells us that the lady in front paid for our sandwich and to wish us a Merry Christmas!
There was no one behind us to pay it forward and there was no one in line, so we will definitely be paying it forward tomorrow while we are out.
As we were heading home, I started to cry and my husband asked me what was wrong. I simply couldn't believe it, I know it was only a burger, but I've never been the recipient of random acts of kindness from a stranger.
Granted, I've done it several times, but never have I expected it to happen to me, so I was completely caught off guard and was simply touched by her kindness to a stranger...or shall I say, "Christmas spirit."
We can't wait to go out tomorrow, just so I can find the opportunity to do the same. She really made my night!
So thank you kind stranger...it is much appreciated!

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." ~Aesop

Are You There Christmas Spirit...

2010-12-22T15:25:00.002-06:00

Yes, Christmas is only a few days away and as I was finishing up some of the “homemade” gifts, my hubby asked who those all were for. I told him and to him I know it is not his thing, but I enjoy it and we ended up having a conversation about things and I got a bit bummed about it. Now I have debated on whether or not to give these out to everyone I planned or to those who I know would appreciate it or not at all.
So, last night as I was reading bedtime books to the kids and we were talking about our nativity set, who was who. The kids were asking questions and so we read a book about the birth of Jesus. Then we read the Grinch who Stole Christmas and as the kids drifted off to sleep, I thought where is my Christmas Spirit, do I have Christmas spirit and what exactly is it?

Is it the person who is most festive? The one who outshines everyone with their gifts, their tree, the cards they send out, ornaments, and such? Is it the holiday songs, the giving and receiving as you break your bank account, spending it with family and friends, baking or all of it combined? Do you go about your day a little happier or hopeful? Is it putting differences aside for a day of celebration? Or is the warm fuzzy feeling you get inside, like when you look at someone you love?
If you take away the ribbons, the packages, the trees, and all the other glittery things, what is left? Is Christmas Spirit something that stays year round or only during the holidays? Can it be lost, forgotten, stolen?
I asked my son in the morning…what do you think Christmas Spirit is? He jumps up and down and loudly says,” it is Santa coming and a baby being born and giving stuff”…that is it and not stealing presents like the Grinch. His response made me laugh. I asked my little girl and she says, “it’s being with people you love,” her response made me smile.

I know that it can mean different things to people and perhaps there is no right or wrong answer. As with any holiday, Christmas has become so commercialized that where are the basics? I don’t feel like I’m any more cheery or festive during the holiday, besides saying Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to those around me. I do see some who are more festive and cheerful during this time of year, so I thought, do I just not have it or do I just not get it?

To me, Christmas spirit isn’t anything different than what should take place during the year…it’s being thankful for your blessings – what surrounds you, but again, I really don't know, I do like Linus' (from the Peanuts) explanation - perhaps that is it.

"Christmas is forever, not for just one day,for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do yourself..."~Norman Wesley Brooks

Christmas Traditions around the World

2010-12-20T10:06:00.007-06:00

While we were on vacation, we went to Epcot...the hubs had never really spent time there and neither had I, so we thought we would go and while we were their they were celebrating Christmas Traditions around the world.

We listened to Pere Noel (from France) talk about how the creche is the main focus around Christmas time with little santons that depicted not only the navitiy scene, but also local public figures, which I thought was neat.

He also held up a shoe with a name tag attached, which the kids looked puzzled about..."what does a shoe have to do with Christmas?" Pere Noel explained how the children in France leave shoes by the fireplace to be filled with gifts from Pere Noel.

It was fun listening to him and learning something new....I think it would be neat to experience Christmas somewhere different, perhaps someday.

I remember spending Christmas back in New Zealand with my grandparents and Father Christmas filled our pillowcases with treats and we continued that tradition in our family up till I was about 8 and then I believe someone sent us stockings with our names on them, so out went the pillowcases, which I completely forgot about till now. My kids have stockings, but I remember the excitement I felt as I carried my "huge" pillow case around the house filled with goodies (mostly fruit and socks). And yes, Santa was called Father Christmas and even now occasionally Father Christmas will slip out of my mouth instead of Santa, I will get a look from my little ones, but the kids have gotten used to it, most often he has become Santa. However, I do feel there is a bit of nostalgia attached to Father Christmas, but that could only be because it reminds of me of childhood.

Tomorrow is Winter Solstice and if you were not aware a rare event not seen in 372 years will occur early Tuesday morning. A total lunar eclipse coinciding with the winter solstice, pretty neat.

Our tradition is to make something for the animals (birds, squirrels, etc...) outside...last year we did the peanut butter/birdseed pinecones and I think this year we will do a garland with cranberries. As with any holiday, there are many traditions with Winter Solstice and our purpose in recognizing this holiday is to expand upon the different holiday traditions as well as family bonding. If you catch the luner eclipse...enjoy it, they are also saying there will be little meteor showers! I'm not sure if we will get to glimpse it or not...I hope so.

"Shall we liken Christmas to the web in a loom? There are many weavers, who work inot the pattern the experience of their lives. When one generation goes, another comes to take up the weft where it has been dropped. The pattern changes as the mind changes, yet never begins quite anew. At first, we are not sure that we discern the pattern, but at last we see that, unknown to the weavers themselves, something has taken shape before our eyes, and that they have made something very beautiful, something which compels our understanding." - Earl W. Count

Salt Scrubs and Seashells

2010-12-17T18:23:00.012-06:00

Yes, I'm making Salt Scrubs as gifts this year....in the spring I made the Lavender Sugar Scrubs, so I thought I would try a salt scrub this time. The kids are helping me pour the salt and add the other ingredients. They are also taking their seashells that they collected and making christmas ornaments out of them. Each year for Christmas they make some craft to give out and they decided to make seashell ornaments, so that will be our project this weekend.

We are making two different kinds of salt scrubs...a Chamomile Salt scrub and a Rosemary Salt Scrub.
My ingredients are olive oil, sea salt (or epsom salt), and rosemary or chamomile, which I blended the chamomile with a touch of vanilla and it smells great. I can't wait to try them out!!!

Below is the blended chamomile

and the rosemary

And here is the finished Salt Scrub using the Chamomile

And here is the Rosemary salt scrub

"I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month." ~Harlan Miller

Back Home

2010-12-16T19:23:00.003-06:00

We went on a mini vacation and came back today...it was a fun filled trip. However, why is it that it takes so much planning and then in an instant it is over...poof..done.

We booked this trip back in August and so looking forward to it for some time, we used the hotel points the hubs had built up, which was great because we only had to pay for two nights during the entire time. This trip was part of the kids christmas present and they seemed to enjoy it. The weather was a bit chilly for Florida, but it wasn't snowing!

We went to Honeymoon Island and Tarpon Springs, which was great...we wanted to go to Caledesi Island, but the day we went it was pretty foggy and they shut down the ferry, so we couldn't get across.

The kids had fun playing at the beach and the kids asked all sorts of question when we looked for shells. We saw dolphins every morning from our room and the kids couldn't believe it. My sweetpea took her writer's workshop papers and wrote about what she saw and did for the day. My little man took his own spin on the writer's workshop papers and wrote letters. We visited some family while we were there, which is always nice and I even got to see an old friend from high school who is living down there now.

We collected several shells that we are going to make christmas ornaments from, the kids are also taking what they collected to their classrooms, so they can share their experience.

It was nice to have a whole week just spending it with the hubby and kids.

It's always nice to return home, but we went to the store to get some groceries everything seemed so mundane and blah. I don't know if it is because we returned home to snow or what the deal is, but we wanted to go back to the semi-warm weather, but alas it is back to reality for now.

"A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia." ~Author Unknown

Holiday Traditions

2010-12-06T20:02:00.003-06:00

My kids have been learning about different holiday traditions at school. Most recently they have been discussing Chanukah. The classrooms made potato latkes and today I was a parent volunteer for my little man's class. I have never made potato latkes before, so this was even a new experience for myself and they were rather good, a bit bland, but good.
I have also picked up a couple different holiday books that focus on different traditions, tonight we read Hoppy Hanukkak and afterwards, my wee man says, "I wish we were Jewish."
And my sweet pea, says, "yea, me too, we could play the dreidel." And then she asked how we can become Jewish. Such simple questions, with such complex answers.
I told them that my great-grandmother on "nana's" side was Jewish, but that my nana was not brought up Jewish and so nana was not raised Jewish and neither was I.
Those that know me, know that we are not "practicing" a religion in our home, but we will raise our children to believe there is a higher spirit and to have a knowledge of faith. We want them to be respectful of every person, tolerant and loving individuals and to know that what you put out, comes back.
Will this cause confusion with my children? I don't think it will, but I'm no expert...we live in a diverse world and I want my children to appreciate that diversity, when they are adults perhaps they will find a religion that best suits them, for now I'm happy that they are curious about the different holiday traditions they are learning about. As a parent, I can't just say it...I too have to show my kids, our children aren't born hating others, they learn that behavior, so I try to remind myself..."if my kids were to only copy my behavior, is it something I would want them doing?"
It is easy to get caught up in our own world, but I don't want my kids to be ethnocentric - I want them to see that just because something may be different, doesn't mean that it is necessary wrong or right, but just appreciate the difference.
So, another holiday tradition that we will be adding is making potato latkes and if I can learn how the "how to's" of playing dreidel, perhaps that too. Our holiday traditions may be a mix of christian, wiccan, jewish, and more, but at least it will be interesting to say the least.

What holiday traditions will you be practicing this year? Feel free to share.....

"He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings..." - Buddha

"When Jesus Christ asked little children to come to him, he didn't say only rich children, or white children, or children with two-parent families, or children who didn't have a mental or physical handicap. He said, "Let all children come unto me." - Marian Wright Edelman

Every little bit helps....

2010-12-02T10:37:00.003-06:00

I came across this blog via a site I follow on Facebook...so I clicked on it and her story pulled at my heart. I simply find it tragic that someone can not only beat cancer, but survive and live life yet be "uninsurable." So any medical emergency becomes a financial burden and that is exactly what has happened to this woman.
She is a local business owner with a small toyshop in Valley Junction, a cute store with unique toys, I've been in there a few times for things.
It's the holiday season, everyone is strapped for cash and we are still paying for the medical bills from my little man's surgery last year as well as my emergency hospital trip, but I feel for this woman. I would hate to see her lose her business...so I made a small donation. It was very small, but I hope that every little bit helps and perhaps if enough people donate, she can cover the expenses.
If you would like to see her story click here

"For it is in giving that we receive." - St. Francis of Assisi

My little troopers....

2010-11-27T13:13:00.002-06:00

My kiddies and I volunteered late this morning for a two hour shift for the Salvation Army. We rang the bell, wishing people a happy holiday. I wasn't sure if the kids would make the full two hours, but my little troopers did.
It wasn't as cold as it could have been and the sun was shinning so it was a great day to volunteer and my kids had such a fun time too.

My sweet pea danced as she rang the bell and one man said, "seeing her was worth a donation in itself." I would say that 95% of the people passing by donated something and just simply wishing people a happy holiday was heart warming. Now that I know the kids can do it, this will become another holiday tradition in our family. When I signed us up, I explained to the kids why we were doing this and my little man, said "can I give some of my chore money?" and so he put in two dollars.
It was a great day! It was easy to sign up too...if you are interested in becoming a bell ringer yourself, you can go to http://www.ringbells.org/ to sign up.

"Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls." ~David Thomas

Gratitude

2010-11-25T21:52:00.005-06:00

Thanksgiving is upon us and we celebrated at home - it was a fun filled day/evening. I was quite surprised that most of our guest stayed well into the evening. There was plenty of food, desserts, and good company.

My parents came, as did my sister, my great Uncle, and a family friend. And it was just fun relaxing, talking, and sharing in the moment. And as thanksgiving leaves to make room for Christmas I thought what experiences have I faced since last year that I am thankful for? Well, my list is many things, simple, but many things. I'm thankful for my husband and children, of course, they are the spark in my fire of endless entertainment and laughter and what is a home if there is no laughter and joy? I appreciate the family/friends that surround my life, I may not always be the easiest person and I am thankful for those who support me in all aspects of my life versus those who pretend. And I'm thankful that I can really live...life is short and unexpected and I have come to a point where I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life. This year has been challenging and emotionally draining in many ways, but I'm thankful for those tough times because you realize who is a friend, you realize that sometimes no matter how hard you try sometimes things can't change, you realize what really matters, and that not all things are meant to have a place in your life.

It is easy to get sucked into the negative emotions and the WTF's, but at the end of the day - it really doesn't matter, life moves on, and the more you hold on to the baggage the heavier the burden is to bear. So, I look forward to the new year and leaving this year behind - lots of lessons learned.

Happy Thanksgiving...gobble, gobble!

"To Speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, To Enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to Live gratitude is to touch heaven" – Johannes Gaertner

We have eggs.....

2010-11-20T19:32:00.004-06:00

The hubby went out to check on the hens and there were three eggs waiting for us, which is great because I checked about three days prior and there were none...so I'm pretty excited that we finally have eggs!

The kids made scrambled eggs with one of them and I think they were impressed that the eggs actually came from the hens....it really is a great demonstration of where your food comes from...the kids had heard us talking about it, but I think it finally sunk in when we got the eggs. So, it will be nice that we won't have to buy any and we will have fresh eggs...yeah for the hens!!

"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it." - A. H. Glasgow

When we sleep...

2010-11-18T10:02:00.002-06:00

does our unconscious mind try to tell us things in our dreams? The other night I dreamt of my Aunt Marilyn who just passed away and the dream was quite weird. In the dream, she knew that she had passed and we were sitting in a hospital chapel and I said what are you doing here...you are gone.
And she said, I'm waiting - I need to help them...I then woke up. So, in my dream I never found out who....strange dreams they are.
I've had dreams in the past of my grandparents who have died and I've always just felt that was their way of visiting me, but my recent dream just shook me a bit....

"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened." - Unknown

100 books galore and more....

2010-11-16T20:54:00.004-06:00

I haven't been blogging lately...a lot has been going on lately...like colds, sinus infections, strep throat, and now the stomach flu...but nothing exciting to really blog about, until tonight....

We reached our 100 book goal...today is day 85 and we finished the 100th book tonight...in fact my little sweet pea read number 1-0-0...she read, May I Have a Cookie, we also read Hurry, Hurry, Have you Heard? and Happy Hanukkah!
The kids were quite excited that we reached our goal and the school is still having their book sale, so after school tomorrow they get to pick out a book.

I'm also pretty excited that an old friend from high school will be passing through and we are going to meet up this weekend. It's been 16 years since we've seen each other, we've always tried to stay in touch, but just recently reconnected after several long years, so I can't wait to see her. We have a lot to catch up on and when I thought of how long it has been I really couldn't believe 16 years....where does the time really go?

I also decided (in addition) to the consultant work I do during the day to become an independent Norwex consultant. The school was having a fundraiser and I had a party and fell in love with the products....I'm not good with home parties...I never have a good turn out, but so far things are going well. The products are really great and you can basically clean your entire house in less time with water...which I had been making my own cleaners for about a year and these can replace my cleaners, however, I still make my laundry soap.

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching....we were going to head to MN for Thanksgiving, but decided to stay home and the hubs is going to cook. He really enjoys preparing such a big meal and he does a great job. I found some great non-traditional recipes to add to the fare.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes." - Charles Swindoll

Halloween move over, it's the Holiday Season

2010-10-31T20:51:00.002-05:00

We couldn't have asked for better weather for trick-n-treat night, it was a mild fall night. The kids changed three times because they couldn't decide what they wanted to be....I'm really thankful that we have a handful of costumes aka "pretend dress up play" that we didn't need to buy any costumes this year. I was in the midst of making my sweet pea's costume (she wanted to be a peacock), but towards the middle of the month she decided she was just going to wear one of the "princess dresses" and my little man had already said he was going to be a superhero. ***Tip**** when the store costumes go on clearance, we typically buy one for each of the kids and either save it for Christmas or their birthday - they love playing dress up year round and they love getting stuff like that when they don't expect it.

Anyway, the kids had a great time, we only hit two streets. On one of the very last houses, I see this man hunched over in a lawn chair holding a candy bowl, I immediately knew what was going to happen, but before I could say a "peep" the kiddies ran over and thankfully he took it easy on them and only said "boo!"
They sure got a fright, but laughed so loud as the kids were leaving they shouted, "thank you scary man!" And really they don't see that - out of most of the homes giving candy out, maybe two or three were decorated or people in costume and it definitely could be that we happen to live in a neighborhood with more older residents than younger, but I remember growing up all the homes were decked out with scary decor and there were some I wouldn't even approach because I didn't want to get scared.
The kids ended the night only eating two pieces of candy and we had a great time with friends that joined us....it was a fun filled evening.
So, today after we hit the science center we quickly ran to the store and sure enough all the Christmas decor was out. My sweet pea looked at me and said, "when is Christmas, is it next week?"
Well not exactly! Do stores think the sooner they get the stuff out, the more things people will buy? If most are like me, by the time Christmas actually arrives, you are burned out from hearing the music and seeing all the holiday stuff that you want to hide.
I don't look forward to the holiday season in the slightest bit....I do think it is getting better now that we have children and children always think that season is a magical time, so I do find it getting better, but it's hard because we can't seem to make everyone happy, but besides running away for the holidays, I did bring it up with my husband as to what the plans were, which he said he wants to stay home again, so I think that is what we will be doing.
I did find some really great ideas for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I'm hoping that I will have some spare time to work on these projects before the holidays.
One for Thanksgiving is making outlines of leaves and cutting them out - have the kids decorate them and then write one question on each leaf...such as "What are you grateful for, Which season do you appreciate the most, Is there someone at the table you have a reason to be thankful for, Is there someone not at the table you have a reason to be thankful for, and How do you show your thanks (gratitude)....."
So afterwards, you put the leaves in a bowl or jar and at dinner time, pass the jar around the table and each person takes a question and you answer the question. I know my kids will love this, they love when we ask questions at dinner time, so I knew when I saw this idea that it was something I'd love to do.
Last year, I had a jar and during the month of November we would write down things we were grateful for and on Thanksgiving morning, we read them.
The kids loved it so much, that afterwards the kids decorated a jar and turned into a thank you/wish jar - so we would write down things we were thankful for the day or a wish. My little man of course is just beginning to write out letters and such, but he would sit at the table and draw a line and tell me what he was writing. I think what they enjoy the most is looking back and reading what they write and of course when I get to the "lines," I simply interpret and then ask my son "is that what it says?" to which he will either say I'm wrong or right.
I also got some great DIY gift ideas that I'm excited to try out. And one of my goals this holiday season is to host a cookie exchange, I wanted to last year, but didn't get around to it, so I'm hoping this year to do it...so we will see how that goes.

Hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween!!!!

"Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight, make me a child again just for to-night!" - ~Elizabeth Akers Allen

Book Challenge Update....

2010-10-24T22:24:00.003-05:00

Well we have hit day 60 and we have been in super charge mode and are up to 75 books...so 25 books left in 40 days....I think we can do it!!!! The kids were so excited to hear what we hit and I told them that as long as we hit that challenge, we will have a "shopping" spree (up to two books) to the bookstore.
I've order some books already for Christmas and have a couple more that I want to order via the kid's scholastic book order, but these are books that I pretty much pick out that I want the kids to learn, such as I'm ordering a Hanukkah book, a book about the meaning of "Christmas," and then there is a book about what's in my body and I also am ordering "The Story of Ferdinand" I loved that story growing up.
So when we go to the bookstore, they get to pick out any book, which I'm sure one will be on superheros and the other on princesses....oh the life of a child!
Once we are done, I'll take a photo of all the books we've read to get a visual...so far it's been hard seeing all these books laying around.

"He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers.” from Ferdinand the Bull

A Wasted Vote.....

2010-10-22T21:47:00.004-05:00

I think not....the elections are drawing near and so you see all the negative ads and why the Democrats are better or why the Republicans are better, but neither is really addressing the issues or taking responsibility for their outcomes, especially if it is an unfavorable one.
You hear excuses like, "well I could have done it better had (insert political party) not stomped it" or "don't let (insert political party) in because they will destroy everything we've built, etc...etc...
I'm tired of hearing it, I'm tired of seeing it, I'm tired of it all. I hate discussing politics or religion with most people because what I have found is that it is usually the people who say they are "liberal" or "atheist" that will be the first to tune you out at the first signs of disagreement. I'm quiet and I don't make a lot of noise with my views, unless specifically asked, but I've observed this first hand and on more than one occasion. I'm neither Republic and I'm neither Democrat and therefore I stand behind those I believe will run the county, state, or federal government the best way while upholding the Constitution.
I'm open to listening to different views, hell, when different religious groups come knocking on our door, we don't slam the door. I listen to what people have to say because you never know when that will lead to something different or open your eyes and for that matter, change someone else because of the courtesy you have shown them by listening and they listening to you.
My ballot will cross party lines based on who I believe is going to do the best job based on what I've seen, read, and heard from sources other than mainstream media. I will be supporting Johnathon Narcisse for Governor because what he stands for aligns more closely to what I would like to see in this state. Will he win? Of course not, but I hope that he will get enough votes to shake things up and to get the attention that the people are tired of the same bucket of crap. Change starts at the bottom up and if the people don't demand change, then nothing will change. Is it so shocking that he wants to empower parents with regards to education choices or that it's blasphemy that welfare recipients should work (via community service or other) and get drug tested!!
So, I'm going to step outside of the box and vote for who I want, not who the lesser of the two evils are....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

"THE THOUGHT--To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." - William Henry Channing

Happy Anniversary

2010-10-22T13:37:00.004-05:00

My parents celebrate their 33rd wedding anniversary today! Congrats to them - wow - it seems like such a long time and it is!
My parents are an example of two people who despite having challenges, disagreements, fights and all that comes with marrying a man in the military; they have learned to work through those to build a relationship that can survive those hard times. The have fostered a relationship of love, compromise, laughter, and happiness.
I've seen the fights, but I've also seen the love and it's those that I take away from -that makes me want a relationship that can stand up to life's challenges and know that I won't walk away alone, but rather I'll walk away with my partner hand in hand.
So, I work hard at being a wife and proud to say that...too often I see other woman treat strangers better than they treat their own spouse (and it goes both ways men) and that is sad. I try to tell my husband that I love him everyday, I put him up on a pedestal to let him know how much I appreciate him. So what do I get in return, someone who loves me and tells me so everyday.
Now, granted neither of us is perfect and we all make mistakes and we have problems like any other couple, but what we have learned and try to do is to work together. Marriage is compromise and when there is no balance and one is constantly taking, it puts strain on the relationship.
So, will I be one to celebrate 33 years of marriage with my hubby? Well, I hope so, but I like to focus on the present and we are together today and that is all that matters!

Happy Anniversary MUM and DAD!!!! Love you much!!!! Here's to all those who've found their "one"

“I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone." - Javan

Funeral, Family, and Life.....

2010-10-14T14:25:00.007-05:00

As I posted earlier, my great aunt passed away....she lived a full life and will be missed dearly. Her funeral was today and the service was nice, the priest kept calling her Mary, I couldn't tell if it was his accent in trying to pronounce Marilyn, but towards the end, it got better or I just heard it as it was...And as I imagine, the service was exactly how she would have liked it to be. The weather was perfect, the light from the sun cascaded on the multicolored window shooting specks of color in small areas of the church. As we gathered in the church, I would occasionally look around the room and realize that the death of one not only serves as a reminder of your own mortality, but also of those who are close to you.
I squeezed my little ones and the hugs you give are a little stronger and last a little longer. And your words are softer and kind. Life is unexpected and can't be predicted...and the moment you think you have it figured out, something happens.
Of course my children asked me questions, why did Aunt Marilyn die? Why were we at church? And why did they put her in the ground when heaven is in the stars?
And I answered as best as I could...family ties are strange in a way, our ancestors is what binds otherwise strangers together, it's the blood...the commonality of what runs through us.
And as I reflected on the dynamics of the family and how crazy all of us can be, it's a group of people I love and have wonderful memories.
Sitting in the back of my mind, is the little thought that things should be better with my sister-in-law than what has been going on....I have said that I can't force relationships and I want people in my life who want to be there - who shares the ups and the downs and the crazy inbetweens...that is what makes you stronger and binds you closer together. Granted some relationships can't be healed or fixed, but all I can do is put myself out there one final time....if it bites me in the butt well at least I did what I could and there is no shame in that.

"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time." - Art Buchwald

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Update: I did reach out and put myself out there, just saying that I think we should sit down and move past all the drama, how we were both guilty of acting in inappropriate ways, but at this point, not interested in discussing anything, moving past this yes. I can't force anything and I won't - I don't know how to move past anything if we don't discuss the issues we have, so if the time comes when and if she is ready to move forward and actually discuss things, I will be there.

Early Education forum

2010-10-12T20:54:00.002-05:00

I received an email yesterday inviting me to attend an early education forum at the school...I think early education is important, so I went. The First Lady and Governor were there and it was the first of their "Milk Party" campaigns - it was not so much a forum, but a chance to tell us how grateful we should be for the current preschool grants and that if his opponent gets in office, the preschool grant will end.
Considering myself an independent and really not liking either of our candidates, I hate when politicians bash the other opponent, to me it comes off as tacky. I understand that the election is close, but seriously a forum to me is an exchange of ideas...he took questions/comments from two people in the room. It wasn't a forum and seriously if there weren't a campaign would he even be at the school?
The early education preschool grant for four year olds is a hot topic, some people feel tax money shouldn't be paying for preschool programs, but I think it boils down to how it is presented. First, it is referred to as the Universal Preschool Grant...well how does the state define "universal?" This can mean many things to different people and this is where the issues begin to rise...does universal mean free and available to all, does it mean affordable and available at reduced cost, or does it mean a subsidy or tax-break? And if tax money shouldn't be spend on preschool programs what about the tax dollars that is allocated for high school students to take college courses, you could make the same arguements.
We did get the preschool grant with both our kids, however, I knew nothing about the grant until the school informed us of it and all they said, was fill this form out - it is a first come, first serve basis and how it was explained to us was if your preschooler went 1/2 time then tuition was free, if your preschooler went all-day then you paid 1/2 of the tuition. So I am a supporter of this program, not because my children were able to partake, but because I believe that early education is important, it gives children a boost in their self-confidence, what they are learning, and so much more.
The montessori trainer gave the Governor a book on the Montessori philosophy and studies and mentioned that early education is not just in jeopardy, but that education as a whole and that montessori could answer and fix some of the issues, but no one listens....I hope he reads the book.
Studies show that a montessori education leads to children with better social and academic skills and children who come out of a montessori education are 96% more likely to graduate high school....the wait list at the school is two years. Doesn't that say something...that more and more parents want this type of learning for their children, but again the state isn't listening otherwise if they were, there would be more montessori schools.
My faith in the public school system has dwindled every year and why do I love the montessori philosophy? Because it focuses on the classical view of learning...that people learn from what they are doing...key word....doing.
The official theory of learning that most public education is built upon focuses on memorization, drills, exercises, tests and that you're not learning unless you can be seen working and not to mention that instead of our children learning they come home learning what they are NOT good at...it is a self-esteem breaker.

The montessori school provides opportunities to learn everything that is around the student, my sweet pea can tell you every part of the apple...not because the teacher read a book, but because every student took in an apple and everyday they did something different from washing, to peeling, to cutting, until the last day of the week when they made applesauce. My children love telling me what work they are doing, what they have learned and coming home to show me....that is learning and by starting at a young age it fosters that sense of empowerment and love for learning early on, which I think is important. Is montessori for everyone, probably not, but I think it would be a whole lot better if more schools began practicing under this philosophy.

Okay...off my soapbox for now.....

“Neither comprehension nor learning can take place in an atmosphere of anxiety." - Frank Smith

Day 47 of Book Challenge

2010-10-12T20:30:00.004-05:00

Update 10/18/10: Day 53 and we are now on 58 books....not much more to go!!!!

I thought I would update our book challenge....we haven't been good about keeping track on a board, but I have been keeping track myself.
We are on day 47 and we have read as of tonight 41 books....so we have 53 days left to read 59 books....I think we can do it especially if we read four books like we did tonight. My wee man checked out a book from the school library a book we really enjoyed, the message is great and I think I will put this on our wish list of books. The title is "Cat, you better come home" by Garrison Keillor, it was such a fun book and the illustrations are great....my favorite line from the book is "If other cats could only know to hang their hats on the status quo, and make the best of what they've got, And to be who you are and not what you're not." I think it's a subtle, but important message to children.
We also read "Colors, the rainbow of the natural world," "The Great Toy Escape" by Disney, and another recent favorite, "SkippyjonJones," by Judy Schachner. The kids really enjoy SkippyjonJones and it's such a fun book.
What are some of your favorite children's books?

"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him." - Maya Angelou

Sorrowful News....

2010-10-08T21:45:00.002-05:00

Well we were spending the evening downtown at the World Food Festival with our friends and as we were leaving, I checked my voicemail only to hear some sorrowful news. My Great Aunt had passed away, she had been in the hospital and she had died when they were doing a stint.
She was a strong woman, one who wasn't afraid to voice her opinion, she told it like it was and that is what I liked most about her.
I'm thankful that her and her husband spent Christmas dinner with us. And I will cherish the many memories I have, I still have the book she had bought me when I was 15. We were on one of our summer visits here and I was talking about how much I love various authors and then the next day she brought over "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan. She said she had just read it and thought it was a good book, one I would enjoy and I did. I ended up becoming a fan of Amy Tan and read lots of her books since that time.
So thank you for all the great moments, you will be greatly missed!!!! Family gatherings will not be the same without your presence. Love you!

"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
- David Harkins

Missing the Roosters....

2010-09-29T20:44:00.003-05:00

Well I had mentioned that we traded one rooster for a hen and then discovered that Shelle was a rooster, so we traded him for another hen (same place) and I must admit I'm missing the roosters.

I really didn't think there would be a big difference, but these hens are messy chicks and I went out the other day to clean up their coop and make sure there was plenty of food/water and the little buggers pecked at me.

Our roosters were so much more friendly and would come out when I would call out, but again we did raise them from chicks whereas these were not, but still, no need to peck at me. Hopefully these new chicks will get use to us and stop being meanies or else I'll be leaving everything up to the hubbers. No eggs yet....waiting patiently....

Anyway, here is a photo of the hens...the brown one is Sunburst or Rosie (whichever name comes to sweetpea first) and then the golden one is Shelle the II...my little man wanted to keep the name, so we did.

“The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. For I hear all the talk of pollution and war As the people all shout and the airplane roar, So I'm staying in here where it's safe and it's warm, And I WILL NOT HATCH!" - S. Silverstein

Fairies Welcome

2010-09-25T18:16:00.002-05:00

and pixies too, but no mischief making! My sweetpea drew a picture of a fairy house and asked the hubs if he could built it. So, he found some extra wood from a previous project and we went to the Dollar Tree and made a nice little fairy house.

I think the hubs and I had more fun then the kids did, but in total the project was about $4.00 - not bad for some cheap entertainment. The kids made a little table and put a bed in there as well and decorated the wall with stickers.

Since we will be going into Fall/Winter we will keep the house inside until Spring and we'll make a little fairy garden, so it will give us something to look forward to and we can collect various things for the fairy garden.

"Come cuddle close in daddy's coat. Beside the fire so bright, And hear about the fairy folk, That wander in the night." - Robert Bird

The Pledge....

2010-09-23T19:56:00.004-05:00

My little man came home from morning PreK and explained how this morning they didn't say the pledge of allegiance. I asked why and he said his teacher was out sick and the new teacher didn't know, but he went on to say that saying the pledge is his favorite part of the morning. And so I ask him...do you know the pledge?
And he places his hand over his heart and begins to say the pledge of allegiance....I was quite impressed he knew it all (perhaps I do have a little politician on my hands...he has all the presidents memorized, his favorite is Abe Lincoln, and now he tells me his favorite part of the day is reciting the pledge...hmmmm).
He makes my heart melt sometimes that little boy of mine...and today he was circling books that he wanted from the Scholastic book orders and as I was watching him, I thought where did the time go?
Again, it was a moment I wanted to pause, I just listened intently to him talk about how his classroom has this book, but we didn't and that it was a really great book that he wanted to add to our collection. Then he talked about the book he "checked out" from the library and I said we have this book and he said, "I know, I just like it that much."
And it's at those times when I realize that my life can be hectic, crazy, a raving madhouse at times, but in the end it means nothing because I have two of the best kids ever and one hell of a husband.

"love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it” - Maya Angelou

Who says candy doesn't grow on trees.....

2010-09-18T20:25:00.003-05:00

I found some cute halloween decor ideas in a magazine at my mum's house. We made one of them today...it is our Candy Corn Tree.

What you need: candy corn (of course), a few tree branches, a vase and a glue gun

It was pretty easy to assemble, just put your branches (take leaves off) in your vase and arrange. Then pour the candy corn in the vase. Take the glue gun, put a small amount on a piece of candy corn and stick to various limbs on the branch. My mum had bought the kids some halloween sun catchers that they painted, so we added those to hang on the tree. They enjoyed helping and eating the candy corn.

Pretty easy, just be careful with the glue gun - it is hot and sometimes messy.

We haven't made the second project yet, but it is a candy corn wreath - I loved the picture we saw and I'm thinking that will be our project next weekend.

We'll see how long that candy corn lasts in the vase....I told the kiddies that they couldn't eat it, but we all know how that is.....

"Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats." - Linus from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Coming to a Close.....

2010-09-17T18:51:00.002-05:00

Well my work on the WIC project is coming to an end, I worked with some really great people and I think we turned out a great course. We met our deadlines and I made my "acting" debut, but the only way to see it is to actually take the course. It definitely gave me a greater appreciation for actors/actresses - I don't know how many times I messed up one simple sentence.
It was a great experience and opportunity - I enjoyed the work and it was nice to have my hands/mind working on something different. The course, "Cross-Cultural Communication & Nutrition Assessment" went public this week, so it is available for people to complete via http://www.prepareiowa.com or for a quick scan about the course, you can check out this flyer.

I'm glad I was able to offer my assistance and had a hand in shaping.....Thanks IPHP!

"I'm a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they're interested in." - Bill Gates

Eyes so filled.....

2010-09-15T10:19:00.002-05:00

So last night we got to bed later than normal. When we picked the hubs up from work, we had to take Auroara to a new home on a farm in Adel. I think he (the rooster) will enjoy being surrounded by so many other chickens. We didn't ask, but he traded us one of his laying hens and so we now have a new chicken, which my sweetpea said she will name it either Rosie or Ms. No Cone...hmmm wonder where she gets it. (to be continued.....)

Any who...we only read one book each. And as I'm reading, I will point to a word and have the kids tell me what it is, so last night I was doing that and my sweet pea was sounding the words out, etc...
I would gradually increase the word to two words, then three, and then a sentence...and her eyes filled up with such a joy that it must of clicked in her brain, that she was reading! It took us about 30 minutes to read "May I have a Cookie," but I knew that this was a moment she would remember forever.
She was so proud of herself as were me and the hubbers. We then read, "Put me in the Zoo" by Dr. Suess and my little man would read the "zoo" part and some other words. He definitely likes to follow his big sister, so he was equally proud that he was trying to do the same thing, I think he will probably be reading soon too.
This morning she said she was going to tell her teacher that she read and I told her she should, she should be proud of this moment. Granted my sweet pea could read several words, but she never attempted to read a book and I was so proud that she didn't give up, she stumbled on some words, but she continued to try, it was a great moment.
I remember the first time I read, it was "Where the Wild Things Are" and I was at the library with my sister and her friend, Melanie. Melanie was reading the book to me and was helping me, and like a little bulb that went off, something clicked and suddenly I understood what all those letters meant. And suddenly, the world got a little bigger that day and I remember all I wanted to do was read as many books as I could. I'd come home from school, go to my room and my books had a newness to them.

And then back to the chickens...this morning at sunset...I hear crowing...and I think, no that can't be...we just got rid of our rooster? So I get up and run to the window...and there is Shelle...crowing....that's right, we had two roosters, but what I'm thinking (and granted I know nothing about chickens) Auroara was the dominant one and therefore Shelle didn't crow (as I do know chickens have a pecking order). Now that Auroara is gone, Shelle is the head honcho, however, Auroara would crow in midafternoon....so I told the hubs to call the guy and find out if he wants the other rooster....no wonder we weren't getting any eggs...we had two roosters!!!!

"To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark." - V. Hugo

"We read to know we are not alone." - CS Lewis

Another day of firsts....

2010-09-07T22:43:00.003-05:00

Today was my little man's first day of PreK, he has been waiting patiently for this day since my sweet pea started. He had his clothes picked out for the last two weeks and his bookbag hanging by the door, so when he awoke this morning he was super excited. Daddy made him his favorite breakfast. When we walked in, my sweet pea grabbed her little bro's hand and walked in with him, it was the cutest. We waited with him by his locker and then his teacher opened the door and my little man walked in and didn't even give us a last look.
When I picked him up, he didn't want to leave! I'm happy that he had such a great first day, but again it is a bittersweet moment for me. I held it all together till I got home to our empty house and realized that there is no noise...just quiet and then I had a little cry. The last of my babies is off into the world of school.
The other first today was my sweet pea lost her first tooth, it was one of her bottom teeth and it will probably show in her school pictures. She was so excited, comes running to me, "Momma...look, look at my tooth!" She had been wiggling it everyday since it became loose and she ate an apple for her snack when she came home, so I think she had been trying to get it out. So the tooth fairy will be paying us a visit tonight....Nana took her to get a little tooth pouch when it first became loose and so she has it in there. So, what do you do with those teeth? Does the tooth fairy save them or throw them away?
I think the tooth fairy will leave a little more this time around because it is her very first tooth, but it won't always be this way.

"And by and by Christopher Robin came to an end of things, and he was silent, and he sat there, looking out over the world, just wishing it wouldn't stop." - Winnie the Pooh

Why does it have to be this way.....

2010-09-05T00:22:00.004-05:00

I'm upset and I here I pretend to be okay, that it is okay when it is not, that I'm really laughing when I'm really crying. I don't know what else to do, minding my own business doesn't seem to work, so I'm really just dumbfounded.
All I know is that this isn't what I wanted - I would like to settle things because I'm not good with conflict or tension, but both have to be willing to meet halfway and unfortunately I don't think that will happen. My intuition is pretty good and I've ignored it several times because I hope things will change and it doesn't. No one wins in this fight and for some reason I guess I'm the only one who sees that.
And as I write this, it reminds me more and more of the Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith, I posted them once before, but I think now is a good time for a refresher and reminder....

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

It can't be Fall yet....can it.....

2010-09-02T21:24:00.003-05:00

Our windows are open and there is that distinct smell in the air....you know the one you can breathe in, feel it and just know.....Fall is near. It seems too soon really and I'm not quite ready - do I feel this way only because the summer seemed to slip away before my eyes?
We were at the farmer's market and as we were walking my sweet pea stopped suddenly and grabbed before her toes a red leaf. She held it high up in the air and said you know what this means....the leaves are falling, so it's fall....HALLOWEEN!!!!
Yes, indeed the leaves are changing, but I can't shake the feeling that it just seems to soon - I wouldn't mind the cooler weather, but I don't want winter to come...I'm not at all ready for winter. So, Fall, if you could please stay with us and linger here with warmer days and cooler nights, I would so appreciate it, you did seem to kick our a** this past winter, so you kind of owe it to us...don't you think....
Fall is my favorite season and you just may find me....
sweeping the acorns and gathering acorns
taking nature walks to look at the changing leaves
wearing sweaters with shorts
roasting marshmallows
getting out my Halloween decor
melting old crayons
making piles of leaves
drinking hot tea (well that I do in any season)
drinking hot cocoa or hot apple cider
making/eating chili
playing

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." - John Muir

Now that's a challenge....

2010-09-02T21:02:00.003-05:00

Update 9/10/2010: We have read 10 books thus far, so we have 90 books left....last night I read "Someday" by alison mcghee and peter reynolds and I swear everytime I read that book I cry. It's such a sweet and touching story...it is a definite "must" addition to any child's book collection. "Someday you will call a song to the wind, and the wind will carry your song away...." it's simply a lovely book.

We were getting ready for bed the other night and as I was laying with the kids, they were talking about when we read at bedtime and they typically get two books each, so four books at bedtime. My little man says, "you know momma let's read 100 books" and then my sweet pea added, "in 100 days." So I said, "let's do it!"
The kids giggled and thought I was being silly and I told them we will make it a challenge and see if we can read 100 books in less than 100 days (we are only counting bedtime stories). I think it will be a great family challenge and we will make a list of the stories we read....will we reach 100 books in 100 days? The kids were super excited that they came up with the idea.
Daddy said that he was so impressed with their idea that if we finish the challenge he will take them to the bookstore and they can pick out five new books....and considering that the kids love books....I think this will be an easy challenge, but who knows. The kids were worried at one point and my little man says, "but mommy tomorrow is Movie Night Friday, we won't get to read a book..." and I said, "well we can add a book before we start the movie." They both liked that and I was just happy that they want to add reading to movie night. My kids enjoy books and reading time, but anytime I can get more in or make it seem more exciting, is an added bonus.
I enjoyed reading as a child and have numerous favorites and when I get the time I still love picking up a book and getting lost.
So, if interested here was what we read tonight.....
Day 1: "Rainbow Fairies" by Charles Reasoner and "Lilo & Stitch: Doggone It, Stitch" from Disney's Bedtime Favorites (2 down and 98 books to go)

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." - Dr. Seuss

A Opportunity at Hand.....

2010-08-30T21:18:00.003-05:00

My husband learned yesterday that he was chosen to become a part of a young professionals group study exchange to travel to New Zealand for 30 days to study and observe his profession (environmental science) in New Zealand, he will learn and share best practices, network with other professionals in the same field. The program is sponsored by the Rotary Foundation and he had to obtain local sponsorship and then was interviewed by a 10 person panel.
I'm so proud of him! I will miss him greatly and have no idea how I will manage with two little ones while he is away. I think the longest we've been apart is two weeks, so this will be entirely new for us, but it was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. I think it will definitely give him an idea as to whether or not he likes living in New Zealand because he will be there for a month. We will communicate via Skype and if there happens to be any great deals on flights, who knows maybe the kids and I will surprise him, but he will be busy the entire time, so even though the trip is sponsored, it is not a vacation.
I'm a firm believer that if something is meant to be, doors will open and I knew the moment I saw the posting for this opportunity that he would get it. I don't know how I knew, but I did and I had second thoughts about showing him because (selfishly he is returning to my home country without me and he is going for 30 days), but I knew better. And alas the door opened. After he got the call and told me, I happened to pull out the change in my pocket and I have no idea how it got in my pocket, but mixed with the change were two New Zealand coins....if that isn't a sign that good things will come of this, I don't know what is! Congrats my love! I'm so super proud of you, ROCK STAR!!!!

“Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals - Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want" - M. Sinetar

Don't tell anyone, but I'm really a fairy....

2010-08-29T08:36:00.002-05:00

Yes, as I was driving I hear a small whisper in the back, "Bubba, don't tell anyone.......but I'm really a fairy....I'm just waiting for my wings," says my sweet pea. "How do you know?" responds my little man. "Because I asked the magic 8 ball," my sweet pea says in a matter-of-fact way.
I had to laugh so hard....I love listening to them and their imaginations play out like that and I know that in time that will slowly disappear.
I had a wild imagination and I love that my kids have one too, with your imagination you can go anywhere, be anything.
This week has been a "first" for my sweet pea...she started Kindergarten and had her first day of school and now she has her very first loose tooth! I can't believe she is loosing one of her baby teeth, she is growing and growing fast. I know I've said it before, but I really wish I could take these moments and tuck them away in my pocket.
As soon as I picked her up from school on Friday she says, "Momma guess what, it is the most amazing thing?" and I ask her what is going on. "You will not believe it, I was eating lunch and my tooth felt funny and I touched it and it WIGGLED! Can you believe it, my tooth WIGGLED!" "You know momma, what this means?" "The tooth fairy is coming!"
My little man will start Pre-K in about two weeks, he was pretty disappointed that he couldn't start when his big sister started, but he got to meet his teacher and his classroom is right across the hall from sweet pea's class, which is nice. He is pretty excited, he has his bookbag waiting on his door, his "new" shoes ready with socks tucked into them, and his new school outfit picked out. I'm glad he is excited, he is only going half-day, just like sweet pea did last year and I know he will have a great time, but it's bittersweet for me. I'm glad to see my little ones growing and developing and becoming these small little individuals, but I'm also losing my babies. Starting now, we will no longer be the biggest influence in their lives, at some point both will experience what it's like to be excluded or have their feelings hurt and they will learn about new things. They will forge new friendships and slowly begin to slip away. So savor your moments and enjoy the simple things.

"Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music." ~William Stafford

2922 days

2010-08-22T22:09:00.002-05:00

is the number of days the hubs and I have been married or eight years. Eight crazy and wonderful years. Years one, two, and three were easy, four and five were somewhat trying as we were new parents and beginning to balance life as parents as well as each other. Six, seven, and eight have been good. Of course, we have bumps along the way, but every time I picture my life, it always includes my love.

What an adventure life has been with him by my side - he completes me in many ways. My sweet pea asked if I would be wearing my wedding dress tomorrow to celebrate, I told her no and she said, "well wouldn't it be fun to put it on and then bubba and me can be there." I had to laugh and told her perhaps I'll slip it on for her.

I definitely wish I could recreate that moment, our wedding was filled with so much fun, laughter, love and wonderful friends and family. I wouldn't say it was fancy, it wasn't filled with excess, it was simple with our personal touch from the very beginning to the very end. We've said we will do some big party for Year 10 - so two years to save and plan.

I asked the hubbers would he do it over again to which he said of course and in a heartbeat...several minutes later I asked, "are you going to ask me?" He laughed and said, "I know what you'll say...hellll noooo." I reassured him that wouldn't be the case....I'd do it all over again too, no changes. I love our life, what we've accomplished together, our family and what we've yet to do.

However, I'm waiting for him to honor some of those promises he made...not the "to honor, to love, to cherish," but our early retirement, sitting on a sandy beach drinking vino and watching our children grow, but I suppose we've got the rest of our life.

Happy "I'd do it all over again" Day!!!! I love you endlessly

It's really been a year.....

2010-08-18T21:43:00.002-05:00

It has been a year since I donated my kidney to my mom. I can't believe it has been that long and indeed it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs as most who've read the blog know. I remember leaving the hospital hopeful, but disappointed thinking I had somehow failed. They try to tell you that it is not a guarantee and that after the surgery it may not take and you try to prepare yourself as much as you can, but I wasn't prepared to hear that the kidney wasn't working and I didn't accept it.
She struggled for months and then faced another battle with the Norcardia, both events were small miracles in themselves. And just a few weeks ago she went in for one of her monthly checks with the transplant team and her levels are just as low as a normal healthy person. The doctors are indeed pleased with her results as am I. Happy One Year Kidney Day to my mother!!! I love you endlessly and so happy things are working properly! It just wouldn't be our nature to have things go smoothly and that is what makes us who we are.

I don't typically post flyers and such on my blog, but because chronic kidney failure is an issue close to me and the screening for CKF is easy, I would like to pass this information on....If you are in the Central Iowa area there is a kidney screening that is upcoming. It is open to anyone who is over 18 and has highblood pressure, diabetes or has a parent or sibling with a history of high blood pressure, diabetes or kidney disease. Information on the event can be found here or call 800.596.7943 to pre-register. The screening will be held September 15, 2010 from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm at the United Way Conference Center in Des Moines, Iowa

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

And the rain, rain, rain, came down, down, down...

2010-08-10T19:20:00.006-05:00

This year has been recorded as the wettest year and I would believe it. Thankfully, we are not experience sewage backup like we did in 2008, but I'm willing to guess that the new pipes the city installed have something to do with it. I'm pretty sure if they hadn't we would be experiencing something similar to 2008. We did get some ground water in our back bedroom of the basement, but I'll take that over sewage any day.

The creek went out of its banks and flooded the park by our house. It got hit pretty hard - I didn't see it at it's worst, but I did manage to get some photos. Other places had more water than we did and thankfully we've had at least two days of no rain (knock on wood).

Here are some photos of the park...

The picture below is the creek....

"And the rain rain rain came down down down. And the flood rose up up upper. Pooh, too, was caught and so he thought,"I must rescue my supper!" - Winnie the Pooh

Is it really almost over.....

2010-08-03T21:52:00.002-05:00

Now that August has finally arrived it means the school season begins and thus the decline of summer. It has gone rather quickly, we took some small weekend getaways, but no big trips. My oldest will begin Kindy and my youngest will start PreK - both growing so rapidly and completely before my eyes.
My little girl looks forward to going back and seeing her school friends while my little boy is excited to meet new playmates.
I wanted to plan something for all my lady friends this month, but I don't know if that will happen. It seems like the day and months are flying by before my eyes, maybe in the fall I will get something planned.
The rest of the month will be busy, we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the transplant surgery when I donated my kidney to my mom, I can't even believe that a year has past. She is doing great especially considering the start she had and I'm doing good, nothing has really changed for me.
The hubs and I will be celebrating our eight year anniversary this month as well....WOW...eight years, how time has flown and changed. Marriage is not easy by any means, it is full of compromise and changes. You have to be willing to compromise on both ends and at times I think the hubs and I have found a good balance. There are moments that are stressful and hard, but I couldn't imagine life any differently. We've created life together and shared dreams. I love this man completely and can't really believe it's only been eight years. I'm ready for our next adventures.

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it." — J.M. Barrie

Cousins

2010-07-23T08:38:00.002-05:00

My cousin has been visiting from New Zealand, he leaves next Wednesday and it's been lovely having him visit. We went to Jasper Winery to listen to music and our friends (Jami and Jim) met us there, it was a great time catching up with all and chatting. Then he stayed over night with us and we chatted until the early morning hours (I saw the newspaper delivery guy) and watched the thunderstorm roll in. It's been ages since I've been up that late and considering my little ones would be awake in a few hours, we finally went to bed. I'm doing pretty well considering, but we'll see how that lasts later today.
We shared memories, talked about what's been going on since the last time we saw each other and just talked. The last time he was here in Iowa was 10 years ago, Darren and I had just started dating (7 months) and I was still in college.
I've seen my cousin on both trips we've made to New Zealand, but it's amazing how differently life has been through these years. We had a bbq for him last weekend and I invited a few friends and family over and last night, he said how great it's all been and how beautiful my life is (and it is). And it hit me, life isn't about those big moments or waiting for what's next, it's the accumulation of all the small, quirky, everyday stuff that give your life meaning and flavor. And my life is beautiful and full because of the people I surround myself with, my friends, my family, my children - those are the real relationships and I can't push relationships with those that really don't have an interest in our life.
It's nice to have him here and just spend that time with one another, I will miss him greatly when he leaves.

"Waiho i te toipoto, kaua i te toiroa - Let us keep close together, not wide apart" - Maori Proverb